


Different Paths (A DA2 Personal Challenge)

by Saria118



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, all characters and pairs of DA2 will be here, writing challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-03
Updated: 2019-05-10
Packaged: 2019-06-21 09:28:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 34,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15554706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saria118/pseuds/Saria118
Summary: The cast of Dragon Age 2 is crazily shippable sooooooo I’ve made this little writing challenge for myself feel free to take it if you want. Essentially I’m pairing off every character that cant be romanced by the games narrative to see what kinda of dynamic can be had with them.





	1. Fenris & Isabela

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The cast of Dragon Age 2 is crazily shippable soon I’ve made this little writing challenge for myself feel free to take it if you want. Essentially I’m pairing off every character that cant be romanced by the games narrative to see what kinda of dynamic can be had with them. 
> 
> First up one that’s semi cannon if you don’t romance them. 
> 
> Isabela and Fenris

When it started it was an accident. The kind that comes from too many cheap drinks and no supervision. A messy, sloppy collision of lust and haze that neither could recall the start of only the end, as they awoke tangled together in a mess of limbs and clothing they hadn’t bother to remove. The hangover was a more pressing concern to the pair than anything else, as they tried to steady themselves in Isabela’s room at The Hanged Man. The conversation they had was curt and to the point.

 

“So…..this changes nothing right?”  
“No why would it? It was an accident plain and simple.”  
“Oh good I’d hate to have you mooning over me on jobs.”  
“Heh, Please. You love it when people stare.”   
“To a degree. But regardless glad we’re on the same page.”

 

With that Fenris left and things stayed as they had been before. In a sense. The one time accident happened a second time. Then a third, and a fourth….. 

 

“You know you should get some new tattoos”  
“What?”  
“I mean regular ones, that just look impressive.”  
“Pass.”  
“What about piercings?” She lightly touched his ear closest to her. “I think you’d look great with earrings.”  
“Hmmm, I’ll take that under consideration.” He mused his fingers ghosting over where her own had been.

 

That didn't stop either from engaging with other partners however. Yet there was no jealousy, only snide remarks and light teasing.

 

“Now thats a walk a shame if I ever saw one.”  
“Jealous?”  
“Hardly you’re still walking straight. Now if you weren’t walking then I’d be upset.”   
“Because you missed out.”  
“Precisely. I’d have to seduce them myself.”

 

Until an unexpected moment came. That changed them both. 

 

An expensive vase shattered to her left as she approached. 

 

“My my, Hawke wasn’t exaggerating when he said you were in a sour mood.” Isabella stated with little regard to the action striding her way into Fenris’ even more disheveled home. 

“Leave me be…” He barked at her like a mad dog. 

“What and let you have all the fun.” She smirked before kicking in a dusty dresser that might have been worth something once. “I’ve always thought that was tacky looking.” He smiled to her then and the pair continued to destroy what little was left in the home. 

 

Hours past and they found themselves tired, drinking silently in the wreckage sitting against the bed in silence. It was Fenris who broke the silence as he passed the bottle off. 

“I thought his death would feel…..different….” He stared and Isabella drank silently. “Better maybe? Less angry but it’s the same.” In annoyance he kicked the empty bottles beside him off. “But it’s as though he’s still alive.” 

“That’s because he is.” She retorted tossing the empty bottle away. 

“Are you mad? You saw him die we all did Hawke killed him!” He shouted at her inane remark, and yet she just sat there unfazed only lifting a single finger to poke his forehead. 

“He lives here.” She sighed. “And as long as he does, you’ll always be a slave.” Fenris’s skin glowed in anger as he pushed her to floor. That single remark cutting deeper than any sword.

“Shut your mouth!”

“It’s the truth!” 

“YOU DONT KNOW ANYTHING!”

“I KNOW BETTER THAN ANYONE HERE!”

 

The glow faded as he was taken aback, but remained where he was, his weight crushing her. She didn’t move an inch only looking away.

“You think you’re the only freed slave I’ve met? Hardly. Pirate ships are an excellent hiding spot you know…” Isabela tried to laugh but very little came out. “Still that has nothing on personal experience, I know what it’s like to hate. To be consumed by it. To be rid of the waste of flesh and still…..” She bit her bottom lip in frustration. 

“You…” Fenris loosened his grip on her. “You were a slave?”

“Heh. Sometimes it felt like that, a wife was what I was called….a pretty obedient doll was what he wanted, all I wanted was my freedom to be.” Pain rang in her voice at the mere thought of her old life. “Once I got it all I could think about was him. Showing him up, how much he’d disapprove, how I should have done the deed myself, him, him, him, him.” A light bitter laugh escaped her mouth then. “I was more obsessed with him when he was dead.” 

“Was being the operative word there.” He let out allowing her to sit up, still straddling her form with his lanky body. 

“I understood one day talking with a freed slave on my ship, that as long as he was in my thoughts, he had won. He had control.” She smiled then to him, a real genuine smile. “So I took it back, my life is mine and mine alone. I do what I do for me, I fight who I fight for me, I fuck who I fuck for me. Don’t let Danarius win Fenris.”

“You’re saying I should stop being angry?” He grumbled and she only laughed.  

“Oh Andraste no, you wouldn’t be you without a chip on your shoulder.” Playfully she batted at his shoulder to make her point. “I’m simply saying leave him in the ditch that Hawke did, and live.” 

“So…what Hawke’s been saying to me since we met.” He retorted coldly only for her to brush it off by slinking her arms over his shoulders pulling him close. 

“It’s the best revenge in the world.” She countered her breath warm and comforting as it slid across his ear. 

 

They came together that night as they had countless times before yet it was different. Gone was the rushed force of impatience and lust, as they fought for control; and in it’s place was a slow tender pull of compassion, warmth and defiance. An act of feeling truly alive and clinging to another person for reassurance. And so unlike anything either had experienced before. Two broken souls offering comfort to one another.

 

Neither were seen by their mutual companions for sometime after that but when they did they all silently noticed a change. A change Isabela nor Fenris would acknowledged if asked, but a change all the same. A change one could see in the warmth of their eyes when looking at the other. A realization that they were not alone in this world. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So first one done can’t say they will all be same length or written in same way, but I will do my best to make an argument for every pair. So help me in choosing my next one, offer a suggestion. Remember it can’t be cannon these two got away with it cause it’s really only inferred.


	2. Anders and Bethany

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The cast of Dragon Age 2 is crazily shippable soon I’ve made this little writing challenge for myself feel free to take it if you want. Essentially I’m pairing off every character that cant be romanced by the games narrative to see what kinda of dynamic can be had with them.

It’s just a crush. That’s what she told herself. How could she not? Anders was tall and handsome, with a kinda heart and dark past, he was like once of the leads from the romance novels she hid under her bed. Thing was crushes were suppose to go away eventually. But Bethany’s never did.

The more time they spent together trying to get money for the deep roads the further she fell into infatuation. She’d never gotten to speak so openly with another mage, certainly not with one so well read. And Bethany felt like child around him, she could never seem to talk about anything more personal than magic. Yet everyone else could, especially her brother. Hawke didn’t know it but he could charm the hammer off a blacksmith. One smile from Hawke was enough to make Anders light up, Bethany wished she could smile like that. 

“Hawke?” She called tentatively one night in their shared room.  
“Yes Bethany.” He replied sleepily. “What would you do if the person you liked didn’t like you back?” She wondered if he could hear the nerves in her voice, but perhaps he was too tired to notice.  
“Oh um I guess I’d let them go and move on.” He yawned out.  
“But what if you tried and you can’t?” The room grew quiet, Hawke most assuredly awakening at her response.  
“Bethany…” She knew what hashing to ask and hurriedly hid her face under her pillow.   
“It’s dumb forget I asked.” She wanted to die, she wanted the templars to storm in and take her away anything to save her from this embarrassment.   
“Anyone who’s stupid enough to ignore you isn’t worth your time.” He stated firmly and for a moment she believed in her brothers words. But only a moment.   
“But what he isn’t stupid.” It wasn’t a question that much Hawke knew from the quivering of her voice. “What if he’s smart and well traveled and knows so much more than you…..”  
“Bethany just who?”  
“JUST DROP IT!” With that the conversation stopped for the night.

Hawke was always smarter than he let on, within days he’d snuffed out Bethany’s secret and he was doing a terrible job at hiding it. Anytime he managed to get Anders on a mission he’d make sure Bethany would come and that they’d be alone together. She knew what her brother was trying to do, but it was of little use. How could she compete with her big brother? Even if it was a competition he wasn't even aware of. 

Bethany hadn’t meant to eavesdrop but once she’d heard her name being shared with he pair, oh maker she couldn’t help herself. 

“So it will be Bethany and I joining you and Varric on the Deep Roads then?”  
“Yes I’m sorry about dragging you back there but…”“While I’d have preferred not going back there, for you Hawke it’s no trouble. You’ve done so much for me.”  
“I wouldn’t say it was that much, Anders.”  
“You are much too modest.”   
“Say can I ask you something?”  
“Go ahead.”  
“What do you think of Bethany?”  
“You’re sister? She’s a sweet girl. With the right training she’ll become a great mage.”  
“Is that… all you have to say about her?”  
“Yes Why?”   
“Um never mind.”

Her heart felt like it would fall out of her chest at those words. A sweet girl, just Hawke’s sister, that’s all she was wasn’t she? All she’d ever be. The walk home was a blur, a haze of emotions. Bethany just wanted to wallow a little in her own stupidity, she’d know these things already but hearing them aloud made it all the more real. 

Hawke returned to their shared room, smelling of cheap booze and curiously the perfume Isabela was so found of wearing. Guess she wasn’t alone in the realm of unrequited feelings. 

“Hey Hawke?” She called likely startling her brother a bit.   
“Yes?”  
“I um I think I should stay here rather than go on the deep roads.” She didn’t have to look at him to know he had that confused look on his face. “But I thought that…” She could hear him scratching his head. “Look I know Bartand’s an ass but Anders will be there and…”  
“Exactly! You don’t need me he’s a better mage than I am, bring Fenris or Aveline they’d round out the team better.” Though she’d rehearsed it in her head enough times it came out all too fast.  
“Bethany…did something happen?” He asked gently placing a hand on her shoulder, as she hid her teary face from him.   
“It’s nothing it’s just, mother will worry if we’re both gone and if I come back with so much as a scratch she’ll blame you.”   
“Is this what you really want?”  
“Yes, go. I can take care of myself.” 

It had to be the Hawke family luck. That was the only way to explain any of this. Being in the circle was horrid but at least she was learning more and the First Enchanter was a kind man. Most of all though, sad as she was to admit it, Bethany felt more independent here than on the streets. As though she could be more than Garrett Hawke’s little sister.

She was thankful that the Templars allowed her letters, not being able to know what was going on with her family would have made it truly unbearable. Hawke was always quicker to respond than mother, trying his damnedest to fit as much as he could in. They nearly brought her to tears. Now and then he’d pepper information in about Anders and it wasn’t fair how much that affected her. Crushes were suppose to fade with time and yet here she was wishing she could just see him one more time. 

The desire to write Anders never left either. They all started the same. She’d ask how he was, if he found a new cat, then tell him how much his stories about the circle had helped her, how she was able to navigate everything so much easier because of the knowledge he’d given her, she tell him stories of the fellow mages she’d managed to keep from becoming tranquil, how she helped the younger mages with their magic same way he’d once helped her, and then the realization she could never send them came back. Each letter ending the same way, a pile of ashes on her desk. 

Years passed and Bethany found herself left wandering trying to help wherever she could. Sure she tried to find her brother but it always yielded little results. He was alive though overtime she thought he was gone from this world a letter would arrive mysteriously letting her know he was still around. Of course she’d prefer to see her brother but the letters always brought her a smile. Sometimes though she’d wonder what had become of their ragtag group? Sure she knew Aveline was still in Kirkwall and she’d stumble upon a new book by Varric now and then but what of everyone else? Isabela, Fenris, Merrill…..Anders…. Maybe Bethany was lonely since she let her last batch of apprentices go, but she prayed the marker would allow her at least one friendly face soon. 

The town she arrived in was small but friendly, all wooden house and dirt roads. She was thankful it had a running inn with an open room. The innkeeper was a kindly old lady who chatted warmly as they exchanged her pay.

“I must say two mages coming through our town in such short time what’re the odds?”   
“I uh what? I’m not..” All Bethany received was a good natured chuckle from the innkeeper.  
“I’ve been at this long enough to know an apostate when i see one. If you offer us no trouble like that young man before you I won’t tell.” Relief washed over her face, small towns were usually more accommodating than larger ones after all.   
“Thank you, you have no idea how wonderful that is to hear.” Her weather hand offered her the key but before Bethany could accept it she pulled it back.   
“Say you wouldn’t happen to be a healer would you?”  
“What?”  
“Because if you were I’d gladly give you your pay back if you were to to help some folks around here like the last one did. Such a nice man.”  
“An apostate offered healing for a room?”  
“Well no, he offered healing to my husband, I offered the room. He seemed more than willing to pay but I told him ‘That bit of magic was worth more than a room’ I did.” The old woman laughed.  
“Sadly I’m not that adept at healing magic, so I’m afraid I can’t take your offer.”   
“Well that’s too bad, and he just left too.” Key in hand Bethany went to rest but not before a darling cat brushed against her leg. “Well hello there.”  
“Oh don’t mind old Tabby there.” The old woman spoke as Bethany bent to pet the affectionate creature. “Only here a month an that mage went and spoiled her rotten.” Her hand stilled. A mage adept in healing, who refused pay for his services with a fondness for cats. It couldn’t be, could it?  
“Ma’am this mage what did he look like?” Bethany was sure she must look strange to the old woman as she grasped her staff tight in anticipation, her hazel eyes wide and hopeful.  
“Oh handsome for sure even if a little unkept, blonde hair, brown eyes, tall fellow.” Bethany’s mouth went dry and before she knew it the words escaped her mouth.   
“Which way did he go?”   
“North I believe, just left this morinin” In a flash Bethany placed the key back on the counter and headed for the door catching the innkeeper off guard. “Wait what about your coin?”  
“It’s yours.” Was all she said before she rushed out, it was a long shot but perhaps for once luck was on her side. 

A half days worth of travel, aching feet and little to show for it, Bethany’s resolve was slowly dying. She felt stupid but her feet just would not listen to her head and she pressed ever forward north. Until she heard the unmistakable sound of magic. Powerful magic at that. It wasn’t coming north but even if it wasn't him a mage might be in the need of assistance. 

From the slight plateau of the mountain side she could spot the darkspawn bellow all attacking a single mage, who looked low on strength even from her distance. In an instant Bethany began to summon fireballs to reign down in aid, the distraction giving her time to get down and fight more effectively. It was strange not too long ago such a fight would have frightened her but now, now this was nothing she couldn’t handle. 

With a flick of the wrist she placed her staff back in its holder, turning to speak with the mage she’d saved only to see them rushing away. Or at least attempting to. 

“No wait, please, I want to help you.” She called and the stranger stilled, as they turned her eyes widened. 

“Bethany?” He still sounded just like she remembered.  
“Anders!” Tears formed in her eyes at the sight of him. Yes he was older and looked like he wasn’t taking care of himself, but he still had those warm eyes. “I knew it was you!” She exclaimed wrapping her arms around his torso before he had a chance to escape.   
“You knew what was me?” He asked nervously his hand held up unsure of what to do with such open affection.   
“Oh um at the inn.” With a shy laugh she pulled herself back seeing how unnerved he was. “The innkeeper spoke of you and it was too close to not be you.” His eyes dropped at that concern visible on his face. “But but only someone like me would know from it.” She interjected, “A templar wouldn’t figure it out beside she didn’t seem the sort to tell them.” Her attempt at reassurance seemed to do little in aid. He seemed skinny, likely not taking the best of care of himself these past years.   
“I’d better be going.” He spoke with a sad smile on his lips. “I’m glad to know you are alright Bethany.”  
“WAIT” Her hand gripping his wrist tight in desperation. “Please share some rations with me?” It was a simple request and yet he seemed to want out of it. “It’s just I haven't had a meal with a friendly face in so long.” Her voice trembled, being an apostate on the run often left her alone or cautious. Even around her apprentices she had to be Master Bethany had to seem as though she had it all together when really she was always so close to breaking.   
“Neither have I.” He chuckled wearily earning him a soft smile out of Bethany. “But not in a place so open.” To which she had to agree.

They walked into the heavy woods before Bethany sat disposing of her bags contents. Slowly she produced some dried fish and meat, a half eaten jar of pickles, a canteen of water and some close to stale bread. All the while pulling out various other supplies, some potions and runes, a sewing kit for mending, and what caught Anders attention a few books. 

“In you essential supplies you carry books?” There was a mirth in his eyes she hadn’t seen since they were back in Kirckwall.   
“This aren’t just any books.” She retorted with a huff lifting the three books so he could better see the cover, each one carrying a familiar name to them both.   
“Varric’s? Why do you have these?”   
“Because someday we will cross paths again.” She chirped running a hand over the hard leather. “And when we do I’m make him autograph them to sunshine.” Just the idea of the look on his face brought a smile to her lips. “Besides not much else to do but read when traveling alone.”   
“I can understand that…” And there he went getting all wistful.   
“Oh! I have something else…” She dug in her bag pulling out a stack of weather paper bound together by a simple leather cord. Anders eyes grew wide at the sight of it.   
“My manifesto….where did you?” Tentatively he took what she offered him.  
“I took it from Hawkes home before leaving.” With anxious eyes she watched him unbind the leather. “I hope you don’t mind I um I edited it a little. Just some syntax errors and making things a touch less….” She searched her mind to try and find a word that would least offend him. “Confrontational.”   
“Its fine.” He shook his head looking at the text he hadn’t seen in years. “Why did you keep this?”  
Because it was yours she thought to herself. However “Why not?” was all she said.   
“It’s pointless thats why…I I was so…..foolish then.” Remembering what he’d done in Kirkwall he fisted the cover page crumpling the worn paper. The muscles tensed as a desire to burn the pages built only for Bethany to place a gentle hand atop.  
“Its not pointless and you weren’t foolish.” She countered in a such a way that maybe even Anders could believe her. “Yes blowing up the chantry wasn’t the best means to go about things but the ideas are right.” Embolden she tighten her grip easing his own off the paper. “Its helped me many times in my travels.” There was a stillness as they sat there, breaking when the tension in his hand finally eased away.   
“Thank you.” Was all he said yet Bethany’s voice caught in her throat. She suddenly felt far more aware of how close she was, of how forward she was being. Nervously she pulled back brushing a loos strand of hair behind her ear.   
“I um you’re welcome.” Carefully she put her other supplies away. “Oh um help yourself I’ll just be a moment.”  
“Oh no I’ll be fine I…”  
“You look like you haven't eaten in days Anders.”“I can assure you I have.”  
“Well you don't look it.” She huffed offering him a dried bit of meat. “It will insult me if you don’t eat.” And like that she got him as he begrudgingly took what she offered. How little there was. She really should have bought supplies in that town. 

Minutes turned into hours as they chatted about this and that. He told her where he’d been since Kirkwall and she told him of her travels. 

“Haha Bethany protector of young mages.” He teased lightly.“Oh stop. It’d not nearly that impressive.”   
“Come now don’t devalue yourself like that.” To with Bethany raised an eyebrow.   
“Really you’re telling me that? Mister Martyr complex?” Which caused him to stop instantly unable to really argue. “But really it’s nothing I just…I just want to help and this is the only way I know how.”   
“Still its admirable work.” Slowly he got to his feet. “It was nice Bethany seeing you again. Really it was I can now see why Varric dubbed you Sunshine.” He was saying his good-byes and she couldn’t say she was surprised.   
“Where are you going?”   
“Over by Antiva I…”  
“What a coincidence so am I!” She lied through her teeth. It was wrong she knew but marker damn them she wanted to be selfish for once.   
“Bethany….” He wanted to argue she could see it on his face, but she cut him off as she rose to her feet. Casually brushing the dirt off her robes.   
“What I’m not following you, We just happen to be going in the same direction.” She smiled to him then wide, and open and brilliant. And for the first time Anders face lit up like it use to. When Hawke was around.   
“Funny I don’t remember you being so bold.” He laughed lightly and she swore almost shyly looked away.  
“Well time has a way of changing things.” Feeling brave she came to his side pressing a quick kiss to check. “Or maybe you were too busy watching my brother to notice.” Anders stared at her dumbfounded unsure if she had just done that. But the blush on her face betrayed her as did her eagerness to turn away. “Well we best be off then.”   
“Yes I suppose so…” He muttered mulling over what had happened as he watched her walk ahead of him, a sweet spring to her steps. 

A crush may leave one over time, but love? No, Bethany decided, that never goes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two down damn this one was longer than i intended (I may or may not be pressured into making a part 2 thats from Anders POV but not for a while). I can’t say they will all be same length or written in same way, but I will do my best to make an argument for every pair. So help me in choosing my next one, offer a suggestion. Remember it can’t be cannon and I think not involving one of the two characters here.


	3. Hawke & Cullen

Hawke & Cullen

It had been days since the fade and the grey wardens ……passing. Yet no one had seen the Champion, well with the exception of Varric. When Cullen approached the dwarf about Serah Hawkes unprofessional absence all he said was,

“Look Hawkes not in a good place, honestly I hate when she gets like this there’s no talking to her you just gotta wait it out.” 

For the commander this was unacceptable behavior of someone in authority. Their journey was being put on hold for this, they needed the Champion and by Andraste’s Grace he was going to drag one out if he had to. 

HIs fist banged heavily on the wooden door, and waited a moment for a response. Any response. But received utter silence. He knocked again, but once more nothing. 

“Serah Hawke, it’s me Commander Cullen. I would like to speak with you.” Once more he listened but heard nothing. Had Varric lied? Had Hawke run off? She had never seemed the sort but then what did Cullen really know of her? “Hawke I am coming in.” He shouted and prayed silently the Champion was decent. 

The heavy door creaked loudly on its hinges as he took in the room eyes falling on Hawke quickly. She sat on the edge of her cot, still and dead to the world with her head hanging low. For a moment Cullen pitied her, until his foot nearly stepped on an emptied bottle and he noticed just how many were scattered on the floor. 

“I have had enough of this nonsense!” He commanded making his way across the room slowly to avoid the bottles. “You are needed for this endeavor and you’re absence is greatly noticed.” Standing before her Cullen watched as still refused to move only idly tapping the bottle she held limply in her hand. “Do you have anything to say for yourself?” He chastised as though she were a child, despite her being his elder. Yet nothing. All she did was lift that damned bottle to her lips. Something in him snapped and he ripped it from her grasp. “ANSWER ME!” He shouted. 

“And if I don’t?” Her voice sounded horse but unfazed by him.   
“What?” Anger still brimming in his voice, sounding very much like the Commander he was. Slowly she got to her feet starring him down with those impossibly vivd eyes. 

“What will you do if I don’t have anything to say for myself.” Each word was punctuated sharply, as though he were a halfwit. That trademark smirk she’d worn throughout Kirkwall was gone replaced by a fearsome scowl that could have put Meredith to shame. She shoved the breastplate of his armor with more force than one would expect from a woman her size, forcing him back a bit. “Would you scold me? Tell me what a disgrace of human I am?” She sneered only to laugh bitterly, “Oh that’s right? I’m a mage, and mages aren’t people right, Cullen?” He winced at the words he’d spoken all those years ago being spat back at him. The shade of who he’d once been overwrought him with guilt.

“I never meant..” He want to clarify but she spoke over him, perhaps not even noticing.   
“Oh! I know you’ll make me tranquil right?”   
“What? No I’d never..”  
“An obedient soldier just like you!” With each word her voice grew in anger taunting him.   
“I am not…” Every time he tried to defend himself she shouted over him, only serving to increase his frustrations.  
“No soldier is too nice lapdog is more like it. Meredith's first and now Cassandra’s right?” She was dangerously close and nearly screaming at him, every world rising in volume.  
“I am warning you Hawke.” Grabbing the scruff of her coat tight he pushed her back just enough to remind Hawke of what he was capable. It seemed to have the opposite effect than he desired.  
“Then do it.” She dared. “It’s your job right?! I’m a dangerous apostate! A disgrace as a human being! A wretch of a person who leaves disaster wherever she goes!” Tears began to form in her eyes and suddenly he realized what she was doing. Cullen loosened his grip stepping back.   
“Hawke…” She wanted him to hurt her.   
“JUST DO IT!” She screeched forcing him against the wall, tears streaming down her cheeks. “I took another person, from this world!” her voice quivered, “One far better than me….”   
“You mean the Warden?” He asked calmly and she nodded her fists banging on the metal of his armor. “Hawke you didn’t…I spoke with the Inquisitor he said…”  
“Just like Bethany….and Mother…and Seamus….and the Viscount…and grand Cleric….all those people…” Her knees bucked as the weight of her words sank in on her, body shaking as she kneeled before him. “I’m no hero, so why….why do good people keep dying instead of me?” 

It was a lot to take in, seeing the Champion of Kirkwall, a hero among peasants, a myth among templars, the defeater of the Arishtok, breaking down at his feet wanting to be punished for actions she had no control over. For the first time in years Cullen saw Hawke as what she was, a human just like anyone else. This was what Varric had meant hadn’t he? 

Slowly he bent down to her level, afraid if he moved to fast she’d lash out at him again. Unsure, Cullen placed a hand gently on her shoulder. He felt Hawke flinch just a little but allowed him this nonetheless. 

“The maker works in ways that can seem….unjust and cruel,” He started calm and steady. “There is so much in this world that we cannot control, and cannot hope to comprehend the reasoning behind….” A heavy sigh left his lips thinking of all the good comrades he’d lost of the years, and the terrible ones who out lived them. “All we can do is have faith in the maker, and do the best we can. Even when it doesn't make sense to still be standing in the place of others…” 

There was a stillness in the room and Cullen wondered if Hawke had even heard him. When he thought to see if she were even conscious she spoke soft and low. 

“How many?” Cullen raised an eye at her question and before he could ask she clarified. “How many died around you?”   
“Too many to count…” He confessed. “But I would say about ten made me question the Marker.”  
“And that’s how you cope? Relying on religion and the marker….ha” Slowly she lifted her head and he caught a glimpse of that familiar smirk on the corners of her mouth. “Sounds like real fun time.”   
“Well,” He smiled lightly. “I’d say its a better than yours.” His free hand picking up one of the few bottles that still had something left in it.   
“Oh don’t you go shaming my religion.” A playful chide as she took the bottle, and less than gracefully got to her feet. All the while Cullen attempt to assist her.   
“You’re religion? You mean drinking.” He corrected and she shushed him with a hand on his mouth.   
“Shut you’re pretty face. I ask the bottle a question and I get an answer at the bottom.…” Arm slung over his shoulder Hawke took the final swig out of it. “Eventually. I’d say that’s better than your Maker.” Casually she tossed it aside only now noticing he hadn’t said a word. “Hey, I just made fun the Maker haven’t you got anything to say?” She aggressively poked at his check, which seemed to get him out of his stupor.   
“Stop that.” He barked pulling back and no longer allowing her to lean on him, the slightest blush clear on his face. To that Hawke smiled deviously, and Cullen grew concerned.   
“Ohhhhh you’ve never heard me tell you how pretty you are have you?” She giggled and he was now missing the wreck of person she was before.   
“You are better and I am leaving.” He replied curtly trying to walk past but a firm had grabbed his wrist.   
“Leaving so soon?” She teased pressing up against his back, hands on his shoulders, and lips by his ears. And once more he was reminder that past the title of Champion she was a woman. A beautiful woman…with stunning eyes… “I hear you’re out of the order we can the kind of fun we never could back in Kirkwall” Maker he needed to get out of here.   
“Stop that!” He shouted wriggling himself away from her, warm grasp.   
“What’s wrong? Not you’re type.” She laughed. “I’m wounded. Might be this causes me to spend more time in here…” She was obviously goading him but then he’d never been good at noticing that.   
“That’s not…you can’t…” He stumbled for words shaking a fist at this frustration in human form. “Aren’t you spoken for!?!” 

Hawke only stared at him then as though Cullen had asked if she were really a dragon. No he had a feeling she’d think that more plausible. 

“What are you talking about?” She asked genuinely confused.  
“I…the apostate the one who you know blew up the Chantry. Aren’t you…weren’t you….you know?” The commander could barely look at her. Cullen could give you a detailed report on a massacre without missing a beat but asking the status on one personal life he may as well speak in tongues.   
“Anders?” She asked only to laughed in Cullen’s face. “Oh Andrastes tits no. Whoever gave you that idea. I mean sure I consider it once but he was too mopey and difficult to talk to.”   
“I….” Suddenly he felt very foolish. “I just heard…”  
“Oh this had Varric’s handiwork written all over.” She laughed, “Let me guess ok ok umm…” Slowly she passed about in thought before coughing as though to prepare her voice. 

“And so the Champion stood before the mage of whom she’d become so fond. While her mind burned in anger at his actions, destroying the peace she’d worked so hard to grasp, her heart could help but but ache with loving …..” Her serious tone died as she searched for words before giving up. “Love? I don’t know I’m not a words person.” Cullen watched in confusion as she sat back down and tried to recall where he’d heard the rumor. The barracks maybe? Or while at his post? It was just rumors and heresy. Maybe it was all Varric’s doing. 

“What about the pirate then?” That was another one he recalled hearing. And oddly seemed more plausible.  
“Isabela? nope.” But then a memory seemed to come to her and looked off fondly. “Though I did sleep with her once, you do not turn down a threesome with Isabela AND Zevran. I mean that was..”“PLEASE DO NOT TELL ME!” Cullen interjected raising his hands and turning his face as though Hake merely speaking of it could cause him to see it. “But then why fight the Arishtok for her if weren’t?”  
“She’s my friend, she needed my help.” It was spoken so simply, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world, that Cullen felt a bit foolish.  
“So you took on the Arishtok, and defied the templars just to help your friends?” She laughed lightly and he was prepared for Hawke to make fun of him again.   
“When you say it like that I can see why people assume, especially if Varric leads them on. But yes.” Idly she kicked a bottle back and forth with her foot. “Some hero I am right? Everything great deed I did was just for me, for the people who mattered to me.”   
“Some might call that noble.” He countered.  
“Oh like who?” She laughed.   
“Like me.” And for the first time he saw the Champion on Kirkwall look surprised. “I know people who want to be hero’s they look for fights, for causes, they want to be recognized as great, to be admired, but you…. You just did right by those you cared for even when the odds would send others running for their lives. You didn't go looking for honor and glory in fact I’d wager you hate it, but you got it all the same. I’d say that’s very noble.” He smiled to her, Amell women we’re truly amazing. “I’d say you are more than worthy of your title Hawke.” It was strange to say all this but Hawke was one of the few who deserved all they had, he might never have thought that from their minor interactions in Kirkwall. He always knew he could respect Hawke, but was not sure he’d like her. Yet here he stood impressed by all she’d done, and saddened by her guilt.

A moment passed with each taking the other in. Cullen felt uncomfortable under her gaze. Awkwardly shifting his weight from one foot to the other. 

“Well I’ll just…” He turned to the door to excuse himself.  
“I’ll talk to them.” She interrupted, stopping his movements. “In the morning once I’ve slept this off.”  
“Good, glad to help with that …um ….problem.”  
“You know you could help me with another problem if you stayed.” Cullen felt his face turn red at her sultry words.  
“I stop doing that! Besides I have work to do unlike you!” With that he slammed the door on her. He took back everything, Hawke was just frustration taking human form after all.

Still she kept her word. Come next more she’d left the room and even cleaned it before speaking with Cassandra and the Inquisitor. But the oddest thing was the pair had thanked him, even saying “they didn’t know he was capable of that.” A pep talk? Really did they think that lowly of his communication skills? 

Coming to the gate he stumbled upon the person in question saying her goodbyes to Varric.   
“Glad to see you out of that state Hawke.”  
“Glad to be out. Hey what do you say about going on trip once you’re sentence is up?”   
“Sounds good what’d you have in mind….oh Commander good too see you, didn’t know you had it in you.” Varric laughed only for Hawke to join him.  
“Alright that’s enough. Hawke just what did you tell everyone?”   
“Oh nothing much, just that you promised to spend the night with after all this is over.”  
“I DID NO…” He started to shout but she disarmed him you that smirk of hers before placing a kiss on her check.   
“I waited this long to find out what you look like under your armor.” She tapped his shoulder playfully. “I can wait until this new disaster is fixed. Besides this Inquisitor seems more focused than me.”   
“I…wait….what?” The commander was completely disarmed in the way only the champion could, leaving Varric to laugh lightly at the sight.  
“Oh come on don’t act like you didn’t know. Anyway see you soon Varric.” Like Hawke left with a wink and a wave.   
“Hawke sure comes in like a hurricane huh?” The dwarf offered patting the mans lower back. “I’ll have to make a new story about this one.”

While Varric thought of book titles, Commander Cullen spent hours thinking over the last few years of his life and how he could have possibly missed so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three down I kinda love the idea of Hawke and Cullen. I can’t say they will all be same length or written in same way, but I will do my best to make an argument for every pair. So help me in choosing my next one, offer a suggestion. Remember it can’t be cannon and I think not involving one of the two characters here.


	4. Merrill & Isabela

“Oh I am so sorry.” Her sweet voice fretted as she scrambled about her home. The pirate watched on amused by the elf’s frazzled state. 

“Kitten, I told you the first time and I’ll tell you again the tenth time. It’s fine don’t worry.” But she didn’t as evidence by her fidgeting hands. 

“I know it’s just…” Merrill started only for Isabela to pat the spot next to her on the disheveled floor. To which she shyly complied. “You’d be at the Hanged Man now having fun and winning gold for your ship if it weren’t for me…” To which Isabela only laughed kindly, Merrill was cute when she was self conscious. 

“Remember I agreed to help you find your potion bag, you didn’t force my hand.” It was meant to be reassuring but it only caused the lines on Merrills face to worry more. 

“I was so stupid though, you told me I probably left it at home at the start but I was so sure I didn’t that I dragged you all around Lowtown only to end up here to find it sitting where I left it just like you said and now its pouring and you’re stuck here and its all my fault and…” Merrill seemed to talk faster with each second and Isabela was sure the poor girl would cause herself to pass out at this rate. A steady hand on the shoulder brought her back to reality and an easy smile kept her calm.

“Easy kitten, breath.” As she took her advice Isabela glanced out the small window, large droplets of rain banging against the glass. “It really won’t let up huh?” Merrill looked as though she were about to apologize again but Isabela stopped her. “Better in here than out there, these boots would be ruined and I’d hate to break in a new pair.” 

“They are rather nice boots,” She smiled finally relaxing a little.  
“Like em? I got them here in Lowtown I can show you sometime if you want.”  
“Oh no. I don’t think I could have my feet be so restricted.” To emphasize her point she stretched and curled her toes. The childish act made Isabela laugh.  
“You know, I’m glad it rained us in.” She started looping her over Merrill’s shoulder. “I’ve been wanting to have a girls night with you for sometime.” The elf’s eyes widened and warmed in a way Isabela had never seen before and she could swear there was a slight glow to Merrill’s normally pale cheek. Quickly though Merrill looked back down at her feet.   
“But what about Aveline?”  
“Like I said just us girls.” The pirate smirked in her teasing way.  
“Isabela!” Merrill looked aghast at her companion, only to giggle despite herself. “That’s mean.”  
“Oh the Captain of the guards can take it, sure dishes it out well enough. It’s how we are.”   
“You’re not that way with me.”  
“Thats cause I like you more Kitten.” It was the truth. While Isabela enjoyed verbally sparing with Aveline, she couldn’t deny the effect the the young elf had on her. She made Isabela want to protect and shield from the worst of the world. Including herself.  
“You know I have some Dalish mead in the pantry, not enough to get you drunk but it definitely tastes good.”   
“Well open it up and we’ll have ourselves a party, to wait out the storm.”

The hours passed by quickly, time meaning little to the pair as they chatted and drank through the night. There was a warmth and ease in the dank room neither had felt for a very long time. The outside world could have just disappeared and it would have meant very little to the two women. But Isabela still had one foot in reality, as nice as this was it couldn’t last, not for her. 

“My looks like the rain finally let up.” The pirate noted masking her desire to stay with ease. It hurt her a little to see the disappointment on Merrill’s face at her words. “I am glad we got to spend this time together sweetheart.” 

“Really?” Her green eyes shown so adorably it nearly melted her heart.   
“Of coarse, we should do this again….”

There were few times in her life that caught Isabela by surprise. But a kiss was never one of them. Let alone one so chaste and unsure. But so undeniably sweet, and it wasn't from the mead. It pained Isabela to pull away from it but best nip it in the bud before she hurt this girl.

“Merrill, I….” She tried to find the right words to ease her friend but it was hard. This elf made her mind dizzier than any wine.

“Oh! oh no. I’m sorry I just…” Her sweet voice fretted. “I’ve spoiled everything haven’t I? It’s just we get on so well and you’re, you’re so beautiful and I just…” Her face was red as an apple before she hid it in her hands, to hide her embarrassment as she mutter to herself in words Isabela could not understand. 

“No no Merrill you did nothing wrong.” She tried to reassure the girl, wanting to reach out to comfort her but knowing that would only make things worse. “It’s me I…I’m no good.” That seemed to bring her out of her shame. 

“What are you talking about? You’re wonderful.” The sincerity in her voice nearly made Isabela laugh but she bit it back. 

“That’s because I hide it from you.” Gently she took one of Merrill small hands in her own. This hurt and Isabela dared not look at her. “Look, your heart is a treasure. You should keep it safe give to someone kind and good who’ll cherish it. Not some raider like me. I can’t tell you how many I’ve carelessly tossed to the side.” Again Isabela was taken aback as Merrill squeezed her hand tighter placing the other atop. It was strange, the act she’d see as restrictive felt comforting in Merrill’s firm grasp. Looking up she was lost in those warm eyes filled with nothing but affection for her. Eyes she’d not seen for so very long.

“Who better than a Pirate to protect a treasure.” And like that the elf had defeated her. She smiled cupping her sweet face with her free hand and action Merrill gladly leaned into. 

“I hope you know what you’re getting into.” It was her last warning, a last chance for her to leave. For even though Isabela knew she never wanted hurt Merrill, she’d never been very good at not disappointing people. 

“Of coarse I do. It’s an adventure.” That smile did Isabela and it was her turn to return what Merrill had given her.

“Well first things first kitten, I simply must teach you kiss properly.” She giggled at that, excitement brimming in those sweet eyes. Isabela vowed to protect this treasure that she did not deserve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I got a cavity from writing this. I can’t say they will all be same length or written in same way, but I will do my best to make an argument for every pair. So help me in choosing my next one, offer a suggestion. Remember it can’t be cannon and I think not involving one of the two characters here.


	5. Varric & Fenris

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of cannon divergence but whatever.

Varric wasn’t sure when things got so complicated. It started simply enough, but then he supposed that’s how it always starts. Fenris just looked so lost after Hawke left Kirkwall, stuck and unsure of how to move forward. So, over a game of cards Varric made an offer.

“How would you like a job.” 

He never thought the elf would actually say yes. 

They made quite the sight in the dwarven market place, hell the lyrium seemed to glow brighter underground. Fenris was suppose to be Varric’s bodyguard, just be his normal intimidating self, but broody quickly made that term obsolete. 

The elf knew his stuff, must’ve been his years with Darnarius silently watching. It started out subtle at first a tap on the shoulder, a cough, asking for a minute alone, he’d pull the dwarf away and say his peace. Almost as if he wasn’t entirely confident in his assessments, but each and every time he was spot on. So Varric encouraged him to voice his thoughts publicly soon enough Fenris stopped gesturing him altogether and simply interrupted whomever Varric spoke to. Most thought better than to talk back harshly but that wasn’t always the case. 

“Yer gonna let your lackey talk to me like that?!”  
“Sure I am. And he ain’t my lackey, he’s my business partner.”  
“You’re!…AN ELF?!”  
“If he says it’s a bad deal its a bad deal simple as that.”  
“GET OUT!”

Varric laughed as the angry dwarf fumed on exit. Like hell he’d let some dwarf with an overinflated ego mouth off like that. But Fenris seemed awfully quiet. 

“Well, guess the bridge with that family is burnt. But good riddance right?”  
“Did you mean that?” And Varric honestly had forgotten that technically they hadn’t been partners.  
“Sure I do. Hell you got better sense at this than I do. Just didn’t think you’d stick around this long.” He wasn’t sure why but Fenris had this little smile on his face he hadn’t had for sometime. he seemed proud or hell even happy. It was a good look on him.  
“Hmmm partners then.”  
“Guess that means I gotta start paying you more, fifty fifty and all that. Just promise me you won’t loose it all gambling.”  
“I make no such promise.”

They worked the markets with each other well, equal shares equal work and both knew the other wouldn't stab them in the back. It was nice. Slowly, so slowly neither had noticed until months later, they’d begun living with each other. It’d made sense they’d have to spend hours sometimes doing legal work and Fenris still had difficulty reading so Varric would have to read it for him, besides Varric was awful at keeping his schedule together so Fenris made sure he was where he needed to be with what he needed at all times, it just worked out. Neither had noted how odd it was until Aveline had asked a simple innocent question on a visit. 

“Just how long have you two been living together?” It took them both at least ten minutes to give her some semblance of an answer. 

And yet what did it matter? They were friends who lived and worked together it wasn’t weird. Okay maybe it was a little unorthodox but it worked for them. They just liked having someone around that they trusted. 

Things didn’t get tricky until a letter arrived when Varric was away. While normally the mail was shared among them upon seeing the name on the envelope Fenris knew better than to pry. That is until Varric had read it and secured himself away in his room for hours. Part of him wanted to yell at the elf when he opened the door without warning, but he couldn’t it was his house after all. 

“You have other letters to go through.” He stated simply towering over the dwarf who looked like an ogre had just beat him over the head.  
“I know…” Yet his would not leave the parchment, nor his eyes. Silently Fenris sat down on the floor beside Varric’s chair, so they’d be more comparable in height.  
“I’m not good at….offering comfort.” To that Varric smirked casting the man a glance.  
“I know.” But despite that he stayed there all night and Varric silently read over the letter. Bianca was pregnant and he supposed that chapter of his life was finally closed. Didn’t make it hurt any less but having someone there offering support but not prodding, well it helped. 

But that’s when things started to get complicated. When the lines as hazy as they’d been finally began to burl. 

Varric had called it a celebratory drink for a hell of a deal but Fenris had never seen him knock back so many before. And never that quickly. The elf knew it had little to do with the deal and everything to do with the letter, but didn't say a word only lifted Dwarf on his shoulders when his own legs could no longer be trusted. 

“Hey it’s pretty nice up here.” Varric slurred with a laugh. “Great view.”  
“Well don’t get use to it.” Ferris grumbled entirely too sober for this. But one of them had to be.  
“Hey, hey you slept with Rivani didn’t ya?”  
“Why are you asking this now?” It had been years since either had seen her. But Fenris couldn’t help the blush at the short time they’d spent alone.  
“That means yes. Look yer ears are red.” Varric laughed pulling them slightly. It was cute.  
“Stop that” he hissed. “Or so help me I’ll drop you.”  
“Alright, alright.” He was still and silent for a moment and Fenris wondered if he’d fallen asleep up there. “Probably shoulda taken her up on her offer….some of them were serious.” Even with the slurring he could tell there was a seriousness to his voice, disappointment almost.  
“All of them were serious.” Sensitive ears picking up on the hmm? above him Fenris clarified. “She called you a bloody white whale, that the chase would drive her mad and to just let it go.”  
“Damn who knew she had more sense than me?” He laughed so loud Fenris was sure someone would yell out their window at them. 

Soon they made it home, a term that took Fenris sometime to get use to. With ease he dropped Varric on his bed rolling the kinks out of his shoulders. The dwarf was far heavier than he let on. Carefully he took off Varric’s boots, gloves and jacket, knowing he’d be unable to sleep with them on but unable to remove himself. The action was something Darnarius had once forced on him but this was different. This wasn't obeying a master asserting his dominance this was assisting a friend who would and had done the same for him. Well maybe not this exactly, but something similar. That notion brought a small smile to his face.

“Think you need a basin?” Fenris asked dully.  
“I can hold my liquor, thanks.” He replied already half asleep. Half heartedly Fenris tossed the Dwarfs belongings aside.  
“You alright then?” In truth he was greatly concerned for the man, in all the years they’d known each other he’d only seen him like this once when his brother….  
“Not in the slightest.” Ferris could hear the the lump caught in his throat as he spoke trying in vein to hide it. There was a stillness in the room, a line they’d been trying to ignore the presence of that seemed to surround their every move as of late.  
“Shall I stay?” It was a simple question but a dangerous one all them. The only answer the elf received was sure and rough hand grasping his own. 

They’d never shared a bed before. Weapons, food, a home, profits, clothes even, but never a bed. Even on the road traveling it had always seemed too intimate. And yet here they were doing just that night after night. being asked the nature of their relationship was hard after that. 

They were acquaintances, then friends, then business partners and now….Varric was at a loss for words really. But then maybe he thought too much. For when the pair were pressed for an answer Fenris answered with the simplest response he could probably give. 

“We’re partners. We share everything equally between us. Need we be anything more?”

And yet it was the most apt. Maybe the dwarf was simply over thinking things. This was good and it worked, why ruin it with complications like definitions?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was tricky but fun. I can’t say they will all be same length or written in same way, but I will do my best to make an argument for every pair. So help me in choosing my next one, offer a suggestion. Remember it can’t be cannon and not involving one of the two characters here.


	6. Bethany & Cullen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one would have been shorter if my friend hadn't requested sweet over bittersweet..

“Was there something you needed?”

“Did you leave anyone behind in Kirkwall?”

“No. I fear I made few friends there, and my family’s Ferelden.”

“No one special caught your interest?”

“No one…” But as Cullen thought over the Inquistor’s words memories he pushed to the back of his mind forced their way forward. Warm amber eyes, hair as black as a raven and a kind gentle smile.

___________

She had officially became a member of the circle months ago, she ought to know the rules when it came to packages from the outside. Yet here she was refusing to allow him to look at what lied in her tight grasp.

“Come now make this easier and just let me look.” He said strictly hiding his agitation under a mask of professionalism. Bethany had come to the circle with little fuss, but now he wondered if she was more like her sister than she let on.

“I just…um” Her voice was meek and she refused to look at him. “Isn’t Lieutenant Cathrine suppose to be on for today?” Cullen narrowed his eyes at her, just what did that have to do with any of this?

“Why do you want Lieutenant Cathrine so badly? Have you been bribing her to allow you unsanctioned goods?” He snapped reaching out to grab what she held tightly to her chest only for Bethany to jump back.

“NO NEVER!” She looked horrified at the accusation. Yet once she locked eyes with him she once more looked away. “It’s just could you find a female templar…”

“What does that have to do with anything?” This was ridiculous and time wasting.

“I swear these are just books, they aren't anything dangerous.” The second the words left Bethany’s mouth he could tell she knew her own folly. “I know that probably made this worse for me.”

“Precisely.” He remarked dully outstretching a hand. “Now let me see before you make it worse.”

She worried her bottom lip for a moment before surrendering the package to him. Still refusing to look at him and shifting uncomfortably before him. Carefully he opened the brown wrappings to find as she’d said three small books. They were nondescript and a bit flimsy. They certainly didn't look like blood magic tomes but one could never be sure. So he flipped to a random page in the first one and read.

‘She grabbed his hair, yanked and pulled him closer as he’d told her to do. He thrust one finger inside her, crooking it and hitting her in the spot that turned her moans into one long, high-pitch..’

Cullen Rutherford, Knight Captain of the Kirkwall Templars, had never closed a book so quickly in his life.

“I begged you not to look…” He heard her say shyly.

Daring a look up he realized Bethany was as red with embarrassment as he must of been. That’s why she wanted a female….With a cough to compose himself he offered her the books back.

“Yes well umm these uh past inspection then uh enchanter.” Now he was the one avoiding eye contact with her.

“I’m sorry my friend she…” Carefully Bethany took the books trying her damnedest to not touch his hands. From fear or shame Cullen couldn’t know. “I think its her way of acting like everything’s the same.” There was pain in her voice as she pulled the books back to her chest afraid someone might see and know what the contents contained. “And well there isn't much else to read.”

“Yes well….um just don't make a scene of it next time.” He would have excused himself if she hadn’t spoken up.

“That’s why I wanted a female templar. They just laugh and say let me read it first or something, but the men…..” She bit her lip again and Cullen grew concerned. This wasn’t just about decorum.

“They what?” He asked sharply and she looked at him wide eyed, maybe a little afraid. “If they are doing something ill proper I should know, that goes against the order. And it will not be tolerated.” Still she continued to stare for a moment like she could not believe his words. And the sad part was he could see why.

“You’re not like the others…” Bethany spoke softly surprised. He wanted to ask her to clarify but she responded to his questioning. “Some make jokes and thats all, but others they see it as an invitation….if First Enchanter Orsino had not been passing by then…” Cullen felt his hands clench in anger. The very thought that one of his subordinates thought to exert such power over one of their charges. “It hasn’t happen to me since then, I…I try to be careful to circumvent any..misunderstanding…”

“There is no need.” He cut her off then. Bethany was blaming herself when he had been too lax in his duties or perhaps it was Merediths doing. Cullen did not wish to think ill of his superior but all her rantings may have given the rest the thought they could do as they liked with mages. “This sort of behavior can not and will not be tolerated. Seems I’ll have to be harder on our younger recruits.”

“Thank you.” And there was that look again in her amber eyes that seemed to now shine with a warmth to rival the sun, it disarmed him for a moment. “There should be more templars like you Knight Captain.” His voice seemed to catch in his throat at Bethany’s sincerity, for a moment he wondered if she was trying to bewitch him. But he caught himself.

“Yes well um off with you then Enchanter” She made to move but stopped for moment.

“Thank you.” She whispered just loud enough for him and him alone to hear, just above the heart pounding in his chest.

After that Cullen regularly spoke with Bethany. While they mostly spoke of the order and their places within it, his mood was always considerably brighter after even the briefest chat with the mage. The way she spoke no matter the topic put him at ease and he was always reminded of just how different she was from her sister.

“Is there something wrong?” She asked one day when Cullen had not realized he’d been staring.

“Oh um no I just….you are very different from your sister.”

“Oh….” Bethany looked despondent, looking down at her hands as they walked.

“I..I didn't mean that as a bad thing.” He corrected quickly maybe a bit too quickly. “Honestly my days would be a lot simpler if your sister was less….meddlesome.” He felt like more wrinkles would appear on his face simply thinking of the elder Hawke.

“I often wish I was more like her.” Bethany confessed sadly. Cullen wondered what she meant by that, as she simply walked in silence after. He wanted to ask, but knew it wasn’t right of him. None of this was.

“You know I have a sister.”

“Really?”

“Yes she still in Fereldan.” And yet he couldn’t stop himself.

The death of Leandra Hawke came as a shock to them all. Emeric was right all along they ought to have listened to him, ought to have done more, Meredith had them chasing ghosts when an actual blood mage…But that did him no good now. So silently he stood watching as the sisters embraced each other in the courtyard. Meredith had allowed Bethany this kindness, but in a few more minutes Cullen would have to do his duty and drag her back to the circle. Not that he wanted to. Still he coughed to signal her that time was almost up. Only to get a glare from Hawke’s blood shot eyes.

“We’re having a moment here you heartless son of a …” Hawke sounded like she wanted a fight here in the gallows. But Bethany stopped her.

“Marian! Please, this is more than most could get me.” Her sweet voice horse from crying. “Things aren’t like they…” This time the eldest cut her off pulling her sister into a tight embrace.

“I’ll make sure you stay safe.”

“You should worry about yourself more.”

“Some old Bethany, too sweet…” With a bit of resistance they pulled away and said their goodbyes.

“Knight Captain.” She nodded telling him she was ready to return but looking at her made his heart clench. Tears stained her normally rosey cheeks, water ever present in normally warm eyes that she tried and failed to push away with her robe. He wanted to offer her a handkerchief to dry her eyes, wanted to push the stray hairs out of her face, wanted to offer her more time with her sister, wanted to give her the sweet sentimental words she deserved. Most of all he wanted to embrace her. To hold her tight in his arms and never let go.

The realization of that thought and his hand slowly going out to touch her terrified him. Somehow this mage had found a way so deep into his heart he hadn't noticed. But he knew it had to stop. Now. Once they reached her quarters his resolve wavered as she looked at him with those eyes. But it was better to end this now. So he opened her door and with a curt nod bid her farewell.

“Enchanter.” His voice was as formal as the day she first came. The confusion on her tear stung face was evident he’d grown to lax around her. This was the end of that. He could not stray from the order any more.

____________

“Commander?” The inquisitor looked at him confused.

“I um I’m sorry, I was just thinking…” The elf looked relieved.

“Thought I lost you there. Um I was wondering…”

“There might have been.”

“What?”

“Someone who caught my eye in Kirkwall, there might have been. Had I allowed it.” He worried his brow as what he recalled, what he might have lost. “I um I have to go please excuse me.” Leaving a confused Inquisitor alone his mind flutter with memories of a woman he’d never see again.

The battle was more than they had expected. Darkspawn hadn’t ben spotted in the area as of late so they thought it to be easy to enter the forest to forage for rare potion supplies. How wrong the three had been. They were under supplied and over manned. Varric’s arrows quickly dwindle as Cullen and the Inquisitor lost stamina. It made the commander silently wish he still took lyrium. But still they fought they had to keep going, hopefully someone at Skyhold noticed they’d been gone far too long.

Their salvation came swiftly with fire descending from above and ice freezing the enemies closest to them. He turned quickly to the source expecting Dorian, Viviene or even Morrigan but was met with a hooded figure instead. Fear struck him for a moment until he registered that none of the attacks were directed at them, whoever this stranger was they wanted them alive.

With assistance from this mystery mage they were able to pull through utilizing the last of their reserves. Battle over Cullen and the Inquisitor fought to catch their breaths and rest as Varric approached their strange savior.

“Thanks for the help back there we’d be done for if you hadn’t shown up.” Said the dwarf as he offered a hand in thanks only to be met with a small laugh. A laugh that sounded oddly familiar.

“Well I couldn’t let my favorite dwarf die now could I?” Her voice rang with familiarity as she pulled down her hood to reveal her face. It looked tired and worn, but beautiful all the same. Those amber eyes radiating warmth as she looked at her old friend.

“Well I’ll be…Sunshine you’re a sight!” He exclaimed as Bethany crouched down to hug Varric, pulling him as tight as he did her, like family reuniting as Cullen and the Inquisitor watched on.

“Oh I’ve missed you Varric.” She said with one more tight squeeze before letting him go. It was really her. Cullen couldn’t believe it.

“Um pardon me but…” The Inquisitor interjected cautiously taking a step forward. “Varric you know this woman?” Carefully Bethany rose to her feet as though it hurt doing such a simple thing. She seemed tired, Cullen noted.

“Coarse I do, so does Commander Curly over there.” Cullen froze at Varric’s words, for Bethany only now seemed to recognize him. She looked like she wanted to run, but Varric eased her worries. “Hey hey don’t go running off, he’s not a templar anymore, ain’t gonna lock you in a circle anytime soon.” The tension eased out of her body then.

“Oh well um I’m glad.” She said to the former templar. “Commander now, I’m glad your merits were recognized.” That smile he remembered lied in the corners of her lips, cracked and sunburnt but still so sweet.

“Thank you.” He wasn’t sure what to say or what to do. All the while Varric lead her to face the Inquisitor more directly.

“Inquisitor, I’d like you to meet Bethany Hawke, sister of the Champion of Kirkwall and one damn good mage.” Recognition played in the elf’s eyes as she outstretched a hand.

“I’ve heard a lot about you, its a pleasure to meet you.” Bethany took the offered hand.

“And I’ve heard wonderful things of you. It’s just my luck though, meeting you and looking absolutely horrid.”

“Oh stop that Sunshine, you’d make a burlap sack and mud look good.” To that she laugh playfully hitting his arm.

“Flirt.”

“I am what I am.”

“But honestly I feel like a mud soaked burlap sack.” She sighed loosening a knot in the back of her neck. “I’ve gone months without a proper bath or a good nights sleep for that matter…” Though she certainly looked it, with deep bags under her eyes and her dark hair sticking to her face was grease, Varric was right in his assessment that she was still beautiful. “But I really ought to get going it was nice seeing you.” Cullen stood unsure what to do. He had no right to ask her to stay but this might be the only chance to say something to her.

“Why don’t you come with us to Skyhold?” The Inquisitor offered easily.

“Oh no I couldn’t possibly impose.”

“It’s hardly an imposition, besides you saved our lives. A bath, a bed, and some clothes its not nearly equal.”

“Well…if it’s really not too much of a bother.”

Cullen was a bundle of nerves throughout the rest of the day. Word had spread quickly around Skyhold of the Champions sister staying the night and she had barely a moment alone. There was no way he could approach. But then maybe he shouldn’t. Bethany herself didn’t seem to wish to speak with him, maybe it all had meant very little to her. Still he wanted to at least apologize for his actions back then.

Hours trickled by and Cullen found himself in the common room trying and failing to focus on the game in front of him. He supposed the good thing was not paying attention hid his tells.

“Ah well aren’t you a sight.” Varric called as the large door opened revealing a freshly bathed and clothed Bethany alongside the Inquisitor. She really was, Cullen nearly dropped his cards at the sight. “Feeling better?” The dwarf asked as she sat in the free chair at the end of the table, so very far from the commander.

“Oh yes very much so. But don’t let me interrupt.” She indicated to the game.

“Why don’t you share a story with us?” Asked Dorian as he reorder his hand. “This is a rare opportunity after all. A lovely woman like you must have stories.”

“I’m afraid any stories I have Varric has already told you.” She laughed off shyly. “And likely better than I could tell them.”

“What of your time before Kirkwall?” Josephine offered. “Varric couldn't know of that.”

“No…” A sad smile appeared on her lips. “Those are Marian’s and mine precious memories, I couldn't share them without her.”

“An apostate on the run must have stories.” Insisted Sera, to which Bethany shook her head.

“It’s not nearly as exciting as Varric makes it seem in his books. Truth is often far duller than fiction.” That caused a laugh thought the room, expect from Cullen. For a moment he swore he caught her staring at him. “Well…there is one story but….it has a disappointing end, you may not like it.”

“Then tell it dear, let us decide if we like it.” Offered Dorian and she smiled to him.

“Alright then but don’t say I didn’t warn you.” She looked about the room trying to decide how to start. “This happened while I was Kirkwall’s circle. It was hard being so close to my family and friends but being so far away. With that, the harrowing, your every stepped being watched, not to mention those he tried to abuse their power….it could be unbearable somedays. First en….” She bit her lip at that the pain of that day clear on her face. “Orsino….knew how to keep his charges safe….he was a good man.” Bethany took a moment then and Cullen felt those amber eyes on him as he tried to pay attention to his cards. “But while I was there a templar was….kind isn't the right word but they treated me like a person not a mage. I’d almost forgotten what that was like, it….” She looked down then but under the veil of dark hair, Cullen spotted a smile. “It meant a lot to me.” Was this story….

“I see you are avoiding giving details about this templar.” Varric chimed in very interested , she lifted her head giving him a smirk.

“That’s because I don't want give anymore information than I have to for the book you’re writing in your head.” She pointed to him making the dwarf mock a wound.

“Am I that predictable?” He laughed.

“Just make sure my pseudonym isn't so obvious this time.” She chuckled into her hand, that had Cullen smiling despite himself.

“Well? Get on with it!” Urged Sera as she folded her hand.

“Right, so…it started with a misunderstanding. Now in the circle all outside mail must be looked through normally this wasn’t an issue expect when Isabela sent her care packages.” There was an air of understanding in room from Varric’s many tales, while Cullen worked to hide the surprise on his face, years in the order helped him here. Still she was talking of him and now he’d know if it had mattered at all. “Yes yes, it was always book of an ….improper nature. It always sent a bundle of nerves off in me, either I’d a get a templar who poked fun or a templar who saw it as an invitation….but this one was just as mortified as myself.” She smiled wide and bright, “Practically threw the books back at me.” Laughter erupted in the room at the picture. Her tone softened when she spoke again. “But they spoke with me after and I knew they were different. They were strict and dedicated to the order yes but there was a kindness there and I think they truly believed in the order the one from the stories, not what it became.”

“So,” Called the Inquistor, “What became of your templar?” Cullen was glad they all were so engrossed in Bethany’s story that no one noted the color in his cheeks. Accept maybe Bethany herself, but he dared not look.

“I wouldn’t say they were my templar…we only chatted amicably now and then, though I will admit I did look forward to it.”

“I’m not sure whose worse, you or your sister.” Varric laughed.

“Maybe its the Hawke family curse?” She joked. “But to answer you I’m afraid thats the disappointing part. Eventually the conversations just stopped.”

“That’s it?!” Sera asked annoyed.

“That’s it, soon after Hawke was named Champion so I was put under more scrutiny and then the Chantry….there was just so much more to worry about.”

“Do you know why?” Prodded Dorian.

“No I have always wondered though I suspect they were questioned by another templar.”

“Well in my version, there will be a daring escape attempt that fails.…” Started Varric for Bethany to interrupt as she rose from her seat.

“That ends with the leads in each others arms as they give their vows of eternal love with dying breaths?” That made Varric laugh.

“You know when you get that glint in your eye you look just like your sister.”

“Maybe being on the road has made me a bit bolder, but I’ll read the book all the same.” She dipped her head in a slight bow then. “Thank you all for your hospitality but I really must get some sleep.”

There was a fuss being made, goading to keep her up and drink, as she politely refused an ill timed yawn showing just how tired she really was ending that.

“I’ll show you to the room.” The Inquisitor offered kindly.

“Oh but you just got here I’d hate to make you leave.” Bethany countered, and Cullen knew it was now or never.

“Inquisitor please take my spot.” He interrupted. “I’m having terrible luck and if I don’t leave now I’ll just loose my shirt again.”

“Thats hardly a bad thing.” Dorian joked making Cullen shake his head.

“I’m fine with it.” Said Bethany simply and the Inquisitor let them go. If this meant anything to her she hardly let it show.

They walked in silence through the cold stone corridors of Skyhold for a bit, though he had every intention of at least apologizing to her Cullen couldn't seem to find the right words. Maybe she sensed it as she broke the silence.

“Well, this is nostalgic.”

“Yes I uh suppose it is.”

“How is your sister?”

“Good. She’s good. I’d ask of yours but…” There was that silence again and they were getting close to her room. “That story.” He started, “I was afraid.” She stopped walking then looking at him confused. “Back in Kirkwall why I stopped talking to you. No one approached me I just the gravity of it hit me and I was afraid. It wasn’t your fault I just want you to know that.” The silence was made worse by the lack of movement from either of them.

“Afraid of what?” She finally asked staring at him with determination in her eyes.

“That I was….becoming too attached….” He started but looked away unable to meet her gaze while he continued, “…to you….” Marker end him now. He’d never intended to….He gone and mucked this apology all up. But when he lifted his eyes to her, he found her just as red as himself.

“I didn’t think…..I mean I…sort of maybe….hoped…” She was stammering and he could see her mind racing at this new information. “I too was….afraid…you know?” His eyes widened at the revelation.

“I you…you mean…as well?” To which she nodded as he nervously laughed. For he really truly could not believe this. “Bugger we’re bad at this.” She seemed to agree with a laugh of her own.

“Maybe it was for the best?” She offered starting to walk again. “Had we…continued it might have made later events more…difficult?”

“Maybe…but I still I should have said something.” He felt like such an idiot.

“You said something now.” She offered with that smile that just radiated warmth, Varric’s nickname truly suited her.

They chatted happily the rest of the walk back to her room and the awkwardness that had left them came rushing back.

“So ummm.” She started fiddling with the sleeves of her robe.

“Yes um, you should uh ahem get some rest.”

“I’d invite you you know if I wasn’t….”

“No no I know I mean I think I know? But um you need rest.”

“Well um thank you for this but also for back then it did mean a lot.”

“We can talk in the morning.” He offered still unsure of where the line was for them, just knowing he wanted to see her smile like that forever. “So um good-night, Bethany.” Her Face struck him, had he said something wrong? Did he misunderstand?

“Thats the first time you’ve said my name.” She explained.

“I…”Back then he’d always called he Enchanter as was required how had he not realize. “I suppose it is.”

“Then..good-night Cullen.” She smiled before shutting the door leaving him to wait for sunrise. But for her he’d gladly wait forever.

When morning came though Cullen could find no trace of Bethany. Not that he could really ask anyone, he did not want anyone making the connections of him to last nights story. Thank the maker Dorain had asked Varric in the common room.

“Oh she left early this morning heh thats just like her didn’t wanna make a fuss.” Varric answered as he wrote in his book. Cullen felt a lump grow in chest, he wan’t sure what he’d been expecting. “Said she was headed North to Rivain, must have her reasons.” Yes, Cullen agreed silently she must.

“Commander?” Called a soldier to his side presenting a letter.

“What’s this?” He asked looking at it.

“Not sure was just in the mail for you this morning.” Cullen gave the boy leave before inspecting it. It was a strange thing, nothing more than his name and appeared to have something inside. Carefully he opened it.

‘I am sorry for leaving. But you have a great deal to do here, as do I. Once your task is over find me if you wish. My templar. - Bethany’

Carefully he pulled the object out of the envelope, a small vial of….blood! He looked to make sure no one was watching him as he inspected it. She couldn’t have….Carefully he moved north and saw the vial glow brighter and smiled.

“Whatcha got there curly?” He nearly jumped at Varric’s presence.

“Nothing really, just uh...”

“Could it be a better end to a disappointing story?” Cullen wanted to ask how he knew but then this was Varric of course he knew.

“Maybe.” He replied holding the Phylactery tight to his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apaprently I cant write Bethany stories that arent long. I can’t say they will all be same length or written in same way, but I will do my best to make an argument for every pair. So help me in choosing my next one, offer a suggestion. Remember it can’t be cannon and not involving one of the two characters here.


	7. Aveline & Hawke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a problem I like Donnic too much.

“Well how do I look?”

Hawke’s breath caught in her mouth. The gown was simple, off white with little by the way of lace and trimming, but cut just right as to enhance Aveline’s features rather than take away. The color seemed to make her green eyes pop, and her hair allowed to fall loose glowed in the light. Sadly the Guard Captain took Hawke’s lack of words as a negative rather than a positive.

“I knew I shouldn’t have listen to Isabela…” She began but Hawke waved off her concerns.

“You look astonishing. I was taken back who knew you had such a figure under your armor.” She tried to play it off but really Marian was floored.

“Thank you Hawke.” She sighed out the nerves that had been building all day. Her hand rested on Hawke’s shoulder. Placing her own hand on top, Marain took in the warmth she offered indulging for a moment. “For everything.” And then the moment was gone, reality coming back.

“Donnic’s a lucky man.” She forced a smile. It was easy after all Donnic was a good man he made Aveline happier than she ever could. He was good, brave an even funny, he liked their ragtag group and never treated Aveline like she was ever anything less than what she was. That didn’t make Hawke any less envious now and then. But she’d rather have Aveline in her life as a friend than not at all.

“Well,” Hawke raise her arm for Aveline to take. “Shall we?” She smirked and Aveline smiled hooking her arm inside as they entered the room.

“Thank you for doing this.” She whispered as they walked past friends, family and Avelins guardsmen. All big smiles, and teary eyed.

“Anything for you Aveline.” Hawke whispered back as she let her go to meet Donnic, who looked at her just as Hawke had done a moment ago.

The ceremony was beautiful, the party was jubilant, but Hawke stood to the side only watching the excitement filling her normally empty house. Of coarse Varric sought her out taking to her side in watching.

“You doing alright?” He asked offering her a full glass of wine, which she took with a smile.

“Of coarse. One of my closest friends just got married.” It was a bad lie, but then Varric already knew.

“He’s a good man, first thing I did when she mentioned an engagement was have everyone I know look into him.” That made her smile, glad to know she wasn't the only protective one.

“I know.” He was a good man, a better person than she could ever hope to be, and Aveline deserved that. “Still hurts though..” She remarked downing the contents of her glass.

“I know.” Varric offered rubbing as high up her back as could to offer comfort.

–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

To someone else she would have looked completely fine. She sat with her back straight at her desk, neat and orderly, writing reports or schedules, but to Hawke it was just the opposite. Aveline was trying to bury herself in work, she hadn’t even noticed the door open. With a sigh she gently knocked on the wooden frame.

“Oh Hawke…I hadn’t…” She finally looked up, heavy bags circled her dulled green eyes, but she would play it off as though nothing was wrong. “Come in.” As Hawke made her way in she saw that no real work was being done on the parchment, it hurt seeing Aveline this way. “So what can I do for you?”

“You feeling alright?” Hawke tried to make it sound natural, like she was just wasting time sitting on Aveline’s desk like any other day. But the worry could be heard despite herself.

“I’ve been better, but I’ve been worse.” She brushed off quickly, pretending to read some important looking document.

“Aveline.” Her bright blue eyes glared daggers into the paper as her voice took an authoritative tone. Aveline’s hand crushed her quill.

“What!?” She shouted standing to tower over Hawke, who never moved an inch. “What do you want me to say?! That I’ve lost another husband! That after ten years he was ripped from me in an instant! That my heart feels like it’s been ripped out again! Is that what you want Hawke?” She was angry, but Hawke didn’t move. All through Donnic’s funeral, she’d been stoic. Every word curt and simple, not a single tear. But Hawke knew her better she did this after Wesley as well.

“I just want you to talk to me.” She replied calmly, never breaking eye contact. But Aveline only huffed walking away from her.

“We talked. So go.” Hawke glared at the back of her head. “I’m fine.”

“No you aren’t.” She corrected.

“I am.” The Guard captain insisted.

“Acting fine and being fine are two very different things.” In a few quick steps she stood behind the freshly widowed woman. “I know from experience.” The pain still felt fresh somedays. “And I know you. This can’t be easy Aveline.” There was a heavy sigh as Aveline braced herself on the windowsill. Hawke waited, it was all she could do now.

“Why did he have to be in the middle of that?” Her voice barely a whisper in the room. So small, it hardly fit her.

“You wouldn’t have loved him, if he was a man to leave well enough alone.” Hawke offered. “Do you remember that time Donnic pulled that thief up over a bridge cause he thought the jump was better than getting caught, so rather than let the fall kill and himself Donnic dragged him up one handed to the gallows?” A small laugh left Aveline’s lips at the memory.

“He dislocated his shoulder so bad, even mages didn’t think it’d heal right.” Slowly Hawke joined in the light laughter. “But he showed them.”

They reminisced for hours then, not just about Donnic, but all those they’d loved and lost. It had been a short time in reality but so much had happened it felt like three lifetimes. Yet here they were still alive somehow.

“Twice widowed…can’t say thats a title most hold.” Adeline sighed.

“I can’t say many would want to.” Hawke tried to joke but knew it fell flat once the words left her mouth. “Sorry.”

“Its fine, its just…I’m starting to think I’m cursed. Doomed to forever outlive those I love.”

“Well you’re in good company then.”

“You have a point there.” She gave Hawke a sad smile before she moved away back to her desk. Gently Aveline held a parchment in her hands. The last document Donnic would ever sign. The last bit of him she had. Even from where Hawke stood she could see it killed Aveline to file it away. She wanted to offer her comfort this time. Even if it meant endangering the relationship they had.

“And you know Aveline….” The once Champion of Kirkwall began, closing the space between them. With greater courage than it took to face the Arishok, Hawke grasped Aveline’s hand. “you’ll never loose me.”

She stood there for a moment looking down at their hands then back up at Hawke. The suspense killed her, but no matter what Hawke would respect Aveline’s wishes. Despite her fears and worries Aveline just held her hand tighter.

“Its funny Hawke we’ve been together so long I sometimes forget there was a time you weren't around.”

“You mean before you had a constant headache?”

“Its not as unpleasant as you might think”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can’t say they will all be same length or written in same way, but I will do my best to make an argument for every pair. So help me in choosing my next one, offer a suggestion. Remember it can’t be cannon and not involving one of the two characters here.


	8. Isabela & Anders

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Of coarse I talk about the lightning thing.

“Just so you know this will be the last time I cure you of one of these diseases.”

“Oh you say that every time.”

“Well I mean it this time.”

“Really now? What’s the matter afraid if you see it one more time you won’t be able to control yourself and ravish me?”

Anders could only laugh at her teasing. After all he’d done she was among the very few who never treated him differently. He had to admit he’d miss that.

“No, not that it isn’t tempting.” He replied looking through the heavily stocked supplies of his clinic. Had to make sure the new caretakers had enough to work with. “I mean that I’ll be leaving soon.”

“Oh you’re serious.” To which he nodded. “Why now?” And that was the question wasn’t it? It had been some time since the chantry yet here he was. He and justice had thought on this a lot.

“ I’m just tired of other people having to defend me.” He confessed finally finding the jar he wanted. Even with all the good he did many of those left in Kirkwall and beyond wanted his head. “Here it’s a balm for when you have this problem again.” A strange partying gift he supposed but well he wouldn’t say goodbye to anyone really. It’d just hurt too much.

“So where are you headed?” She asked nonchalantly taking the offer. Anders knew she was the only safe one to tell of his plans, well aside from Fenris. Isabela was always good about that, took things as they were.

“I...hadn’t really decided yet.” He confessed.

“Mhmmm.....” Now that look Anders did not care for, like he was some child. “And how are you going to get to this mystery location.” To that Anders visibly displayed his annoyance crossing his arms and rolling his eyes at the pirate.

“I’d planned on walking. You do know I’ve been escaping templars for years right?” All he received was an amused expression.

“Yes but you are so bad at It sweat heart.” She teased wiggling his nose between to fingers. Anders grumbled swatting her hand away like a cat he so adored. It only made her laugh more. “Say when are you planning this trip?” Her long fingers tapped the jar in thought.

“Soon,” He did not like this look on her. “A day or two at most.” He watched her pace about that look still on her face.

“Tell you what make it four days.”

“Pardon?”

“I’ve been looking for an excuse to get the new Sirens Call out to sea. This is the perfect one, I just need four days to stock and man her.”

“Ohhhhh no no no.” He did not like where this was going. “The entire reason I’m going is to get you all less involved.” Anders has so few friends left he would not make his crimes theirs anymore. They deserved lives good ones, even Fenris. But Isabela would have none of that.

“Anders please,” She began sliding to his side her arm slung comfortably over his neck. He was certain this was done in an amicable way but, the closeness and angle made him remember their brief time at the Pearl. “every good pirate captain knows that a ship must have at least one criminal and one runaway mage. Having you on just saves space and food.” She laughed and poked his chest. “Besides it’s much easier hiding on a ship than on land.”

He mulled over her offer for a moment. Isabela had a point, though he pained to admit it, sea travel had always been the safest for him in the past. And if she was going to just get herself in trouble anyway....Justice disapproved though. The spirit did never much care for the pirates grey look at morality, even if there was logic to be found. Begrudgingly Anders accepted her offer.

Months passed aboard Sirens Call and the motley crew Isabela had strung together either didn’t know who he was or simply didn’t care. All they seemed to care about was that Anders could heal their wounds easily and that was enough for them. He was glad for that, while Justice nor himself could really stand behind the raiding, the anonymity was nice.

Watching Isabela perform in her element though now that was something everyone deserved to see in person. It was strange to say but she was even more confident and sure-foot on sea than land. The waves and wind suited her more than anything.

All in all life on the sea wasn’t bad. Anders often felt more like cargo and less like a crew member but that was fine by him. Watching their rowdy antics was good enough but Isabela was always sure to give him company. They’d banter back and forth and Justice was certain she was trying alter their ideals. And maybe she was.

“So enjoying a Pirates life?”

“Hardly but the views are nice. I’ll give you that.” She hummed at that taking in the red hue of the sun as it fell beneath the waves. It really was lovely.

“I only say this because we’ve ported several times now and you’re still here.” Anders found he couldn’t reply to her. Why was he still here?

The moments trickled by as slowly as Isabela’s drink. Things seemed to move slower at sea or maybe that was just her affect. There was an ease speaking with her that no one else had. Once her bottle finished Anders still had not spoken.

“Well I’m heading in.” She announced with a cat like stretch of the back. “If you find an answer to that remember my cabin door is always open to you.” She sauntered past him only to turn back over her shoulder and say with a wink. “For any reason.”

Anders could only laugh shaking his head at the proposition she’d been offering at least once a week since he’d come on board. Left there alone to think on her words.

A month had passed since then, maybe more time just didn’t seem to matter on the ship, and he still had no answer. He could say it was because travel was safer. But that was true only in the case of what remained of the chantry. Isabela was as wild with steering her ship as anything else not to mention the raids. He could say it was because despite herself Isabela was a good person who gave apostates fair passage in every port they hit. But that wasn’t the sort of help Justice Or himself really wanted to offer, only a bandage after all. Yet Justice had stopped arguing or voicing his displeasure for sometime. So why was he still here?

He found Isabela high up in the crows nest. She could often be found here at night, especially clear nights like this when all the stars shown bright like gemstones.

“Room for one more?” He asked with a cheeky smile that she returned two fold.

“Don’t you mean two more?” She teased but moving for him all the same.

“Reusing jokes are we?” He laughed lightly. The view was really worth the risk of the fall. Or sober as it was Isabela had no bottle with her only a spyglass.

“Well you haven’t been gone long enough to think up some new ones.” She teased and though she had the opportunity to ask him again did not. Maybe that was a reason to stay, how easy and strangely calming this life was. Then he dared ask a question he’d pondered himself.

“Why did you ask for me to come?” There was a half beat there where Anders swore he saw surprise in her golden eyes. A brief moment of indecision in the normally decisive pirate as she closed the spyglass.

“Why not?” She shrugged as though she hadn’t put any thought into the offer and he might have been inclined to believe her. Dark ringlets of hair snaked their way over his shoulder as she leaned against him. “Here look.” She offered him the simple metal tube. It was worn and old and she could have bought a new one by now, he felt there was a story there but didn’t ask simply looked where directed.

The sight made his jaw drop. Just above a small rocky island flew two dragons, the largest he’d ever seen. In the pale moonlight the scales shined delicately as they flew about each other. A dance or a fight he could never know but a majestic site all the same.

“We’ll have to stay clear of them.” Isabela interrupted her head now resting fully on his shoulder. “But we should be fine so long as we stay on corse.” He swore he heard her yawn, it made him smile despite himself. Isabela always full of surprises.

“I’ll have to get a mouser at the next port.” That statement made Anders tense.

“Why?” He asked the late night making the nerves in his voice known. But she ignored it.

“Because rats are getting into the rations. Why else?” Her voice was curt and confused.

“Oh well I thought um never mind.” What was he thinking?

“I would hope you thought me better at manipulation than a bloody cat.” She laughed. With a snort Anders pushed her head off his shoulder but she only continued to laugh.

“Alright I admit it was dumb.”

“I know you’ll go someday Anders.” She said as her laughter died, a slight tang of seriousness in her voice.

“Things can’t stay as they are Isabela.” It pained him to admit but he had to continue his goal, had to give justice to this world. “Things must change.”

“That things will change is the only assurance of this world.” She retorted coolly as she got to her feet.

“What does that mean?” He watched her carefully as she stretched and yawned.

“Think about it. Years ago there were no templars, no chantries, not even the same borders, now there are. And years from now who knows? Maybe everyone will sing songs and make nice or maybe the Qun will over take everything or maybe the world will explode, all I know is that when we’re dead a buried things will be different whether we like it or not.” To someone else it might have sounded poetic. To anders it only made a fire rise in him.

“So what? I should do nothing and sit on my laurels like a good little apostate?” He accused standing to meet her in the small space.

“Must you always be looking for a fight?” She sighed pushing past him to climb the ladder down. “Besides that’s not what I meant.” Carefully he followed her down.

“Oh? And what did you mean?” The indignation still clear in his voice.

“Ugh,” Anders could heat her rolling her eyes at him. “What I meant was you can’t hope to change the world, but you can yourself and what’s in your reach.”

He wanted to say something back to lash out at her instead of himself about what she’d changed in her reach and that’s when it hit him. She had been.

Then entire time he’d been in the ship Isabela never once hit a reputable merchant only slavers, smugglers, and occasionally chantry vessels. She took in mages who hadn’t the coin to spare not the skill to work yet ferried them safely. Even those fleeing the Qun she assisted as dangerous as it was for her especially. Yet her crew didn’t seem to mind she treated them fairly and got plenty of coin for their risks. In fact the crew seemed revile in it.

Isabela had always loathed to admit it but beneath the bravado and innuendos she had a good heart, and her time with Hawke in Kirkwall seemed to change her more than she’d like to admit. Changed far better than himself. Anders had thought self sacrifice and martyrdom was what was necessary.

“Well as much as I like getting lectured I’m turning in for the night.” He watched her walk with ease back to her cabin and pondered for a moment.

“Isabela?” He called and her movements stilled. Maybe he ought to take a lesson from her. “Is that offer to your cabin still open?” Maybe he could do better later right now that mischievous gleam in her eyes was all he cared about.

“That depends,” she purred, “you still remember how to do that trick with lightning?” She asked flicking the fingers of her raised hand. Anders could only laugh, real and true.

“Aye aye Captain.” He replied with a salute and she laughed warm and wonderful. Things will change someday whether they’d be good or bad but in this moment this was the only change he cared about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can’t say they will all be same length or written in same way, but I will do my best to make an argument for every pair. So help me in choosing my next one, offer a suggestion. Remember it can’t be cannon and not involving one of the two characters here.


	9. Carver & Merrill

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This ones long cause I love writing the dialogue.

“Ohhhh Carver thank you this is so sweet! You always know just what I need!”

“It uh it was no trouble really my mother was making them anyway and you like them so I figured.....”

“Really you are just the best!”

“It really was nothing...” But it wasn’t Carver had spent days getting the ingredients to Peaches favorite treat and then secretly working all night so no one would know. Well he hoped they didn’t. “but um I uh was wondering about the festival....”

“Garrett doesn’t have a date does he?!” She asked all too quickly, and Carver felt his heart sink.

“No he doesn’t but I told everyone he does...like you asked...”

“Oh you really are the best! I’m going to get some chores done but thank you and see you later Carver!” With a sigh the younger Hawke waved off his crush kicking rocks as he made his way home.

Bethany sat in their shared room lost in a book as her twin flopped onto his bed.

“I take it the sweets didn’t work.” She sighed, marking her place and putting the book down. And she knew of course she did, Carver just hoped she didn’t tell anyone else. “Look Peaches is nice but she’s not worth the trouble, just look elsewhere.”

“Shut it! What do you know?”

“Ok fine I’m just as useless as you in this regard. But just ask Garrett for some advice.” Bethany might as well have stabbed him the back with her remark.

“Oh and admit defeat? Never!”

“You do know you aren’t actually in competition with our brother right? He’d be more than happy to help.”

“You mean to rub it in my face.”

“Oh please Carver, Garrett would never do anything to hurt you.” He wanted to believe his sisters words but he knew that wasn’t true the very next day during the festival. Garrett spent the entire evening dancing with Peaches! Bastard knew how he felt and..... Bethany tried to play peace keeper saying that there must be a reason but Carver knew the truth his brother was his rival in everything.

——————-

It wasn’t a first sight thing Carver wasn’t that pathetic even if she was very cute. He’d never really gotten the appeal of elves until he saw Merrill’s sweet face. But that wasn’t what made him tongue tied around the elf, no that came later in Lowtown.

“Merrill, why are you playing with twine?” He asked watching her as she tried to untangle the large pile in her lap.

“Oh well Varric gave me this so I wouldn’t get lost but I think I wondered about too much now it’s all messed up.” Carver tried to hide his amusement as He went to help her.

“I thinks it more of a short trip trick.” She nodded eagerly.

“Yes I’ll have to agree and try to remember that next time but there’s just so much to see.” The younger Hawke looked about Kirkwall didn’t really offer all that much but then maybe to someone who’s never been to a city before it was everything.

“We could just cut it.” The offer was met with a bone chilling gasp.

“No we can’t do that! Varric gave me this I’ve got to take good care of it!” She was serious that was sure and Carver wasn’t sure if he should be dumbfounded or impressed.

So they sat and worked silently for nearly an hour until the ball of twine was as good as new.

“Ma serannas.” She said with a nod, Carver didn’t know elven but assumed it was a thank you of sorts.

“Well it’s late I should get going.”

“Right....of course....” she looked about nervously no doubt unsure of where to go or if she ought to ask for help.

“I can show you...” He could barely get the offer out before she said that phrase again and quickly came to his side. He liked how little things excited her so much, Carver had never met anyone quite like Merrill.

“Carver?” She asked carefully as they passed the Hanged Man. “Are...are we friends?”

“What?”

“It’s just I’m friends with Hawke and he’s your brother but I don’t know if that means I’m friends with you but then you helped me with the twine and now your walking me to my house and Hawke does that sometimes and he says that’s something friends do so I wanted to know if we are friends?” Honestly he was a little overwhelmed by her fast talking and needed a moment to take in what she said. “Oh! I was rambling again I’m sorry.”

“It’s uh it’s fine and yes?” This was an odd conversation to have it felt weird to tell someone that they were friends. Merrill only beamed excitedly up at him.

“Oh yay! That means I now have four friends! I’m so glad.”

“Four?”

“Yes, um there’s Hawke, Varric, Isabela and now you. Four oh can you believe it? When I came here I had no friends now I got four!” Her excitement was contagious and Carver felt the corners of his mouth raise in a smile. But stopped himself.

“Ummmmm you’re just friends with my brother right?” She was so cute and sweet Carver could fall for her so easily but he needed to know now if she had feelings for his brother.

“What do you mean? Is this a Shemlan thing? Do friends mean something different than among the Daelish? Not that’d I know I didn’t really have any there.” Carver wanted to kick himself for the dejected look on her face.

“Never mind.” Regardless of whether she understood him or not she seemed uninterested in his brother. “You know I think Aveline might be your friend as well.” Carver didn’t think Merrill’s eyes could be bigger yet the mere mention of a fifth friend had them grow two sizes.

“Really? I thought she didn’t like me.”

“Pretty sure that’s just how Aveline is.”

“Oh I see.... but Anders and Fenris they don’t like me.”

“I don’t think they like anyone.” He snorted, scrunching his nose at the thought of the pair. Carver had meant it as a joke but Merrill seemed very concerned.

“That’s so sad though they could both use a friend.”

“Well it’s their loss.” He smiled hoping it might reassure her.

“Oh! You have a lovely smile.” She exclaimed looking up at him. Maybe it was the dim light of the Alienage tree but she seemed to glow. “You should do that more often.” And just like that Carver was done in. Couldn’t take his eyes off her as she waved goodbye and couldn’t get the grin off his face when he returned home.

The younger Hawke was in a tight spot he needed to be obvious in his interest to Merrill but not so blatant that his brother could tell. He tried a few times but it never landed all he received was a chuckle from Varric.

“You know junior I could help you out there.”

“Save it for your crossbow dwarf.”

He should’ve known then that Hawke had figured it out. Because of course he had to put his nose where it didn’t belong. Well this time Carver wasn’t going to lose to his brother.

“So Merrill.” His older brothers voice called as he entered their shared room.

“What of her?” Carver tried to sound nonchalant like he didn’t care but of course Hawke heard the cracking in his voice.

“You like her don’t you? I could help you...” how dare he.

“I’ve seen your help no thanks.” He spat, but the confusion on Hawkes face threw him.

“What are you talking about?” How dare he act all innocent.

“Never mind. I’m fine on my own.” Besides he had a plan in place couldn’t fail.

“Oh um why are you giving me this?” It failed. Merrill looked so confused at the potions bag Carver had presented to her.

“Well you had mentioned needing a new one so I.... is it the wrong kind?” He honestly had no clue relying on the seller at the gallows for input.

“No it’s not that it’s just I got a new one.” Moving her hip to the side to show him. “Hawke helped me.”

“What?” He voice caught in his throat.

“It was so kind of him to show me where I could purchase one easily so if it happened again I could do it myself. He’s so kind taking time out of his day to look out for others you’re so lucky to have him for a brother.” Damnitt! Carver cursed himself why hadn’t he thought of that? “He told me such wonderful stories of you two back in Loathing.” She giggled and Carver could only wonder what terribly embarrassing stories Garrett had told her. But she stopped giggling to look down at the bag in her hand. “It is a waste though........oh! What if we trade?”

“What?” Merrill always surprised him.

“It was a nice gesture and the bag is such a lovely green.” Carefully she picked up the brown one at her waist. “You could use it for supplies or give it your mother or sell it and I’ll keep this one.”

“Okay.” He smiled taking what she offered. Merrill was like no one else, she was different, special, she’d never be interested in Hawke.

“Is it because you’re fond of Hawke? I kind of am.”

“How very nice of you, keep it to yourself.”

“I’d rather keep it with him.”

Carver couldn’t believe how casually she said that to Aveline. He hadn’t been meant to overhear but he had and it nearly broke him. But they were going on the deep roads soon and he’d show Merrill he was better than his brother.

——————-

There was little to like about wardenhood yet it suited Carver well. No one cared about his family, everything here had to be earned and to that he was grateful. In between darkspawn attacks and training Carver received letters from Kirckwall. Aveline wrote of her concerns reminding him of things he already knew but appreciated the gesture, Varric kept him in the loop of the latest Hightown gossip, Isabela sent him bawdy jokes that he shared with his fellow wardens, even letters from his brother brought him comfort. The best though were from Merrill she was far more careful written than spoken.

She wrote of mundane things, like being able to find her way around Lowtown or a local cat having kittens and always asked how he was. He wanted to ask her about Garrett, if they were together, if she’d met someone else but always lacked the courage. What would happen if she said yes?

—————————

The only good thing about the corypheus mess was being able to see everyone again, even his brother but especially Merrill. He wanted to talk to her but wasn’t sure what to say. Wasn’t sure where things stood. Thing was he wasn’t quite the Carver he use to be. The old him would have gladly taken the chance to insert his nose where it didn’t belong to try and show off or impress.

But the new him noticed things. He saw how easily Hawke and Merrill spoke, how his brother warned her of holes or sharp rocks so not loose her footing, and how well they worked together casting spells, tossing potions back and forth while he charged into the fray with Aveline.

Merrill was different, special from anyone he’d met and she deserved to be happy. Even if that wasn’t with him.

“You’ve been awful quiet.” Carver nearly jumped at Merrill’s presence.

“Oh I it’s just.” So much had happened in this short quest, he still wasn’t sure it was real.

“A lot?” She offered and he nodded. “Hawkes been very quiet too.” She noted with concern. “Did you like him? You’re father I mean. He seemed a good man from those messages.”

“I use to think he didn’t like me.” He confessed. “Because I wasn’t like him, a mage....he always spent more time with Hawke and Bethany.....” Her eyes shown with sympathy for him and his resolve hardened. “But now I know that wasn’t true.” Her hand rested on his shoulder and he swore he saw on her hip a familiar bag of green.

“Ir abelas, ma vhenan” The confusion on his face must have told her he didn’t understand as she clarified. “I am sorry for your loss.”

Carver nodded with a soft smile that she returned and he made up his mind.

“Merrill can we talk?”

“Ummm we’re talking now aren’t we?”

“I Uh I mean alone...later?”

“Ooooooohhhh Yes! Of coarse!” Her response was happier than he’d expected as she ran up to Hawke and Aveline.

It felt odd sitting on Lowtowns docks in his Warden uniform, now and then people would approach asking if there were darkspawn and he had to quell their worries. He wished he had a change of clothes.

“Sorry I made you wait.” Merrill let out a bit out of breath joining him sitting on the wall. “Isabela just had something important to tell me is all.”

“It’s fine.”

“Soooo what did you want to talk about.” He could barely make out her words she spoke so quickly and her eyes were so big and wide and lovely. Marker give him strength.

“Right so ummm.” He had to do this though she deserved it. “Hawkes favorite color is red, he loves potatoes but hates turnips, when we were little a nug bit him so he’s still uncomfortable arond them, he’s always wanted to see Antiva, but don’t bother with orlais, and he loves when people stroke his head....it’s something mother did.”

There he said it and Merrill looked utterly confused. Carver waited a moment but still she said nothing. Had he said it too quickly?

“Ummm I know that was a lot...I can write it down....”

“No no I got all that.” She raised a hand shaking it about confusion still clear on her face. “I’m just wondering why you’re telling me all this?”

“I’m just trying to..” but she cut him off with a sort of ‘Ah Ha!’ gesture her hands slamming together.

“I get it you’re being sneaky!” She proclaimed proudly. Now he was lost. “You’re telling me all this so I can tell Anders and he can surprise Hawke without him knowing how Anders knew! Oh you’re so clever!”

“Wait wait wait,” Carver interjected his hands flaying about as he tried to process the elf’s reasoning. “Why would I want Anders to know this?”

“Because he’s with you’re brother, didn’t you know?” That was not what Carver thought he’d hear tonight.

“WHAT?!” He shouted causing passerby to stare at them. “How....how long has this been going on?”

“Oh ummmmm about three years now they were living together before the Qunari attack. You really didn’t know?”

“NO!” This was just like Garrett withholding information so he’d look like a right idiot. “I thought you and him were....” Carver wanted to die but settled for hiding his face in his hands.

“Me and Hawke?” Merrill asked carefully obviously taking aback by the whole scene. Slowly he nodded still hiding in his hand. “Ara seranna-ma. Why did you think that?”

Her little laugh threw him through a loop had he misunderstood? He needed to rethink everything thing, but hadn’t the time. She was still there he knew, waiting for him to come out of his hiding place. With a heavy groan he lifted himself up to face her confused but sweet face. He’d miss this face he wanted to burn it into his mind.

“You did. I overheard you and Aveline, you said you were fond of him.” Carver watched the realization rise on her face.

“Ohhhhh!” This embarrassment would kill him before the taint did he was sure of it. “But that was ages ago, and I got over it quickly.”

“How?” He never knew of anyone getting over his brother.

“Oh cause of you....” she forced her head ahead like she was people watching and.....was that a blush he saw on her cheeks? No couldn’t be. “I saw how Hawke was or is with you. Looking out for you, joking with you, trying to help you were he could and I realized he was doing the same for me. Treating me like a sibling and I found I liked that. I liked having someone watch out for me that way.”

“I never knew that.” He couldn’t believe it he’d read everything wrong. Garrett was never working against him, was he?

“You have to go back to the wardens tomorrow Don’t you?” She broke him out of his thoughts. He nodded unwilling to say it, he wanted to stay here with her always. Or as long as he had anyway.

Merrill fidgeted as she sat and he swore she was muttering something to herself. Before he could say a word she hoped onto her feet and stood before him. They were at even height like this.

“So ummm,” she looked indecisive over what he couldn’t tell, but sighed and said “Penshra! Ghilas vellathan!” It looked like it took a lot for her to say that but still he didn’t understand. Until her hands cupped his cheeks and her lips glided easily over his own.

It was so astonishing that Carver couldn’t believe it was real. He’d dreamt of this countless times but this was no dream he knew only as she pulled back and smiled shyly at him.

“Ummm Isabela told me you’d appreciate this...” carver felt a dumb grin spread across his face yet he didn’t want to stop it.

“I should probably thank Isabela then.” She giggled at that and he took note of the bag at her hip. “Isn’t that...?” He pointed to the well worn potion bag that looked as though it’d been mended by hand several times.

“I tried to take good care of it.” She replied taking the fabric in hand. “It was a gift after all.” He couldn’t believe it six years and she still had it. “But um you should go, give your goodbyes to Hawke.”

“Maker I hate that you’re right.” He sighed getting to his feet. “I’ll miss you most of all Merrill.”

“Just promise you’ll still write me. I enjoy getting your letters I’ve never really wrote letters before it’s nice.”

“Always.” He smiled and walked with her down streets that were different yet the same.

As they approached the steps to hightown he stop to look at her this might be his last chance to. She was so beautiful no matter what.

“What is it? Have I got something on my face?”

“I was just thinking,” I might die, might never see you again, but he didn’t want spoil this. “If you like the idea of Hawke being your brother we should just get married then he would be.” That received him an indignant laugh, a playful slap on the arm and another memory to keep close to his heart.

“Off with you then, go on shoo!” She giggled but waving him off with each step. Carver doing the same trying to keep his eyes on her even as he walked stumbling now and then but laughing it off. “You still have a lovely smile!” Merrill shouted once he was nearly out of sight caring little for the looks she recived.

“You too!” He shouted back.

The walk through hightown was easily the talk on their father was hard. Years of resentment seemed to wash away and Carver felt a new man. A better one.

“So you and Anders huh?” He asked as the evening wind down. Garrett choking on his drink though was a sight he never thought he’d see.

“I um I meant to tell you I just couldn’t find a good time.” Hawke offered but Carver only shook his head.

“It’s fine. I just wished I’d know I thought you were after Merrill.”

“Bloody hell Carver, I’d never go after someone you had feelings for.” That made the younger Hawke pout though.

“Peaches”

“What?”

“From Loathing!”

“Oh makers balls Carver that’s not what happened.” Hawke sighed slumping in his chair.

“So enlighten me then!” Carver challenged his brother.

“Tough love, She wasn’t interested and you refused to see that. So I pushed. Maybe it wasn’t the best idea.” He scratched his beard in thought, an understatement if Carver ever heard one. “Fact is she wasn’t good for you. Peaches was a taker you’re a giver. Merrill though..” he smiled in thought. “She’s a good person aside from the blood magic but at least she means well.” Hawke laughed and Carver had to join him in the joke. “That’s why I helped you out. Even though you were an ass about it.”

“Wait what exactly did YOU do to help?”

“Oh please I told her all those stories from our childhood that painted you in an endearing light, and encouraged her to write you. I mean you make so much less of a tit of yourself when you have to think before you speak.” Carver wanted to talk back but knew he couldn’t, in this his brother was right. “Also who do you think told Isabela to tell Merrill that you would be receptive to advancement?” There was that trademark Hawke smirk and Carver couldn’t believe it.

“You devious bastard.” He shook his head only for it to hang there in thought.

“Doesn’t matter though, I have to return to the wardens tomorrow.” Merrill deserved someone who could be with her.

“Well that’s not the end of the world.” Hawke stated as he got up. “People run from the wardens all the time.”

“Are you suggesting I abandon the wardens like Anders did?” Carver scoffed but his brother only shrugged his shoulders.

“I’m just saying it happens do with that what you will. I’m going to sleep.”

“Goodnight brother.”

“‘Night brother.”

While he slept Carver pondered his brothers words but mostly Merrill’s kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can’t say they will all be same length or written in same way, but I will do my best to make an argument for every pair. So help me in choosing my next one, offer a suggestion. Remember it can’t be cannon and not involving one of the two characters here.


	10. Varric & Garrett Hawke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes this one is specifically male Hawke I will do another with female Hawke because.....its my challenge and I wanna sue me I love these two

“So what do you think?”

“I think you’ve grossly exaggerated my life.”

Laughter filled what was left of Hawke’s home. After everything it was good to know they could still laugh. Despite the ease the two companions felt from their shared nine years, they both knew things couldn't stay this way. Too much unrest, too much destruction. But for now they could pretend all was as it was.

“Still though a good read.” Hawke remarked passing the large pile of parchment to his trusty companion. “Though I was pissing myself during the duel with the Arishok.” He chuckled and Varric met him in turn, placing a hand over ‘The Tale of the Champion’ a first draft and a story he felt deserved to be told.

“How was it you put it?” Hawke pondered aloud clearing in throat mockingly. “The Champion was filled with righteous fury as he slashed and stabbed, fighting to end the suffering and defend his home from more destruction.” Varric could only laugh at his words being spoken aloud.

“Maybe I should lay off the purple prose then?” He offered talking a swig of the ale Hawke had managed to find. “Or maybe write sober?” The dwarf waited for a laugh or a retort he’d prepped Hawke perfectly yet nothing. The Champion just sat there staring at him with a look Varric had never seen before. It was a soft smile nearly contemplative with a warmth coming off his eyes. AT least that’s how he’d write it.

“Is that how you see me?” He asked gesturing to what would become a book. “Larger than life, a paragon of wit and charm?”

“Well I’d like to say its’ just giving the audience what they want, but….” He shrugged thumbing through his work, that look still on Hawke’s face. “You do cast a rather large shadow both figuratively and literally.” Now that earned him a laugh. “For an average person how you’re depicted here is how you’d appear to them.”

“But not you?” And that smile on his face widened.

“Well I forget now and then, but then you do something that reminds me….” And like clockwork Hawke leaned in. “Of what an ass you can make of yourself.” The room roared with laughter.

“Andrastes tits Varric you really do know me!” He laughed out, tears in the corners of his eyes.

“But you know the book is missing something…” Varric mused once the laughter died down.

“Oh really?” Hawke asked taking a swig of his ale. “What is it?”

“A romance.” He replied perfectly in time with Hawke’s drinking to make him spit a little.

“You did that on purpose.” He glared whipping the back of his hand over his dark beard.

“A little.” Mirth glowing in the dwarf’s eyes. “But its true a good romantic subplot always gets people’s attention.”

“What about Aveline and Donnic?” Hawke offered, but Varric shook his head.

“I already milked that story for ‘Swords & Shields’ if I put in any more detail people will start making the connection.”

“You mean Aveline.” Hawke interrupted with a laugh.

“Can you believe she still hasn't caught on yet?” varric laughed. “Marker she’s a fan of her own love story.”

“Better pray she doesn’t. Someone else would just want a cut of profits she’ll want your head.”

“Maybe I should make some larger embellishments next….” He pondered aloud, tapping his fingers in thought over what to do next. The dwarf was deep in thought for a moment when he noticed Hawke didn't say a word just drank in silence in his worn chair, he wasn’t trying to change the subject was he?

“So about that romance,” He began taking note of how his friend seemed to grimace a little, he was trying to change the subject. The question was why? “We got a great cast of characters all very dynamic it is strange you never really struck with one.” All the author received was a shrug, and he just had to poke more.

“So first we got the sweet Dalish girl who’s in over her head.”

“Would never work I feel too much like her elder brother.”

“Fair enough. So then what about the mysterious scarred elf looking to claim his freedom.”

“I always felt like I was walking on eggshells around him, he needed a friend more anyway.”

“Ok what about the sultry pirate? Makes for a great climax with the Quanri.”

“If you want to write it that way fine, but she was a little much for me….not sure how Fenris keeps up.”

“Then of coarse our tortured soul of mage, would give the ending that sweet tang of tragedy.”

“Oh definitely, it hurt enough just as his friend, but no I didn’t want to get between him and justice….both versions of justice.”

While the insight was interesting no matter how vague, Varric couldn’t help but feel he was missing something. The dwarf stretched as best he could, human chairs never gave him the right support.

“Well you just ruined the best options for the story Hawke.” He sighed with the flair only a professional liar could muster. The dramatics only brought him a deep laugh.

“Sadly life isn’t as simple as a story.” The way Hawke looked down at his bottle Varric knew what he’d meant. So much had happened to them in such a short time, things that didn’t make sense. Even a moment like this wouldn't last long.

“But you know…” Hawke began still looking down at the bottle. “You are over looking one more option.” Varric raised his brow, was there really something he’d missed? An aspect of Hawke he didn’t know? That hurt the rogue more than he thought it could.

“And pray tell what option is that?” His voice a low rumble of amusement. “A first love from Loathing? A worker from the Rose? A curly haired templar?”

“Nothing so surprising as that,” The Champion laughed and took a long drink from his bottle. “But what about the charming sidekick….” His eyes locked with the dwarf’s, sharp with determination told him this was no joke. “Who can’t seem to see the forest for the trees because he’s so wrapped up in his past.”

Silence took the room, words lost on the Dwarf as he stared disbelievingly at Hawke. Varric thought he knew everything about this man, prided himself on knowing the Champion so well and just like that it all shattered. Hawke was suddenly a mystery. When did this happen? How long? Had it always been this way? For the first time in his life Varric Tethras was at a loss for words. And Hawke knew it.

“Well then, I’ve fulfilled my making an ass out of myself quota for tonight.” Hawke announced getting to his feet. “We can just say this stuff hit me harder than I thought, if you want.” It was an odd offer as he gestured to the empty bottle he placed on the ground. There was a sadness in his hazel eyes, disappointment almost.

“Hawke I…” Varric wasn’t sure what he could say but he felt he needed to say something. Hawke just waved him off with a soft smile.

“It’s all right.” His eyes drifting down to the crossbow leaning against the dwarfs chair. “Look I know whoever Bianca is she’s… the woman you’ll love the rest of your life.” Just when did Hawke learn to read him like a book? Varric’s own eyes glancing at what had been the only companion in his life. “But have you never once considered a man you could love the rest of your life?”

It wasn’t a question to answer now they both knew that. Hawke left Varric to his thoughts but the world wouldn’t allow him time to fully assess them.

—–––––––––––––––––––––

Varric never regretted his decision to stick with the Inquisition not once, not until he had to get Hawke involved. Yet seeing him again it was as though they hadn’t spent a day apart, falling back into how things use to be, Varric had forgotten how much he’d missed it until Hawke was gone again. They both had things to do but the dwarf wouldn’t say he didn’t work harder just for it all to be done quicker.

“Dorian was right you know?” Varric announced surprising the former Champion, who smiled once the shock left. “Weisshaupt is dismal, think I’d rather be underground. Does this place ever get any sun?”

“Very rarely.” Hawke chuckled. “Read ‘The Tale of Champion’, saw you went with the tragedy option.”

“It was the one that went best when workshopping it.” He shrugged taking seat in Hawke’s temporary office.

“By that you mean bars.”

“Drunks really do make the best critics.” He laughed and while Hawke’s eyes shown with amusement he did not join Varric.

“So what brings you to this dismal place?” And that was the question wasn’t it.

“Oh just passing through on my way back to Kirkwall.” A raised brow was all the response Varric received or needed. “What? It could be on my way you dont know where I was before.”

“I suppose not.” Hawke laughed lightly. It hadn’t been meant to hurt but it did, Varric didn’t like that Hawke didn't know things about him anymore.

“But the truth is I wanted to come here before I went to Kirkwall.” Hawke was taken back by all this, fighting to keep his face as neutral as possible as Varric continued to speak. “Cause Viscount or not I’m not going back there without you.”

“And why is that?” Varric smiled, he’d never seen Hawke so nervous.

“Cause it just wouldn’t feel like home without you there….no place would.” Varric had realized that during his time in Skyhold, no matter how close he got to the other members of the inquisition when he imagined home it wasnt Ozamar or his old family home he pictured. It was his old room at the Hanged Man laughing with Hawke. Funny how it took him so long to realize that.

“I feel the same way.” His voice was gentler than Varric had ever heard it, a wave of relief washed over him. The dwarf might always carry a torch for Bianca but this, this man before him was home. And he wouldn’t have it any other way.

“So how much longer you got here?” He asked gesturing to the mess of paper’s on the desk.

“Hmm a couple more weeks I think…”

“Oh good!” Varric interrupted to another quirk of Hawke’s brow. “Gives me time to figure out what official title to call you when I’m named viscount.” He laughed.

“What man of your dreams isn’t scandalous enough for you?” Hawke teased.

“No no too easy. See we gotta give you some title that way rumors will spring up when people realize we live in the same house.” Varric could picture it now, the busybodies of Hightown debating on whether they are lovers or not, it would be glorious. “How does personal bodyguard sound?”

“It sounds like you’ll make Seneschal Bran wish for another Quanri invasion.” He laughed. “So I’m in.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always help me in choosing my next one, offer a suggestion. Remember it can’t be cannon and cant involve the characters in this chapter.


	11. Fenris & Bethany

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love when I can put cannon bits into these

Fenris didn’t trust mages. He certainly didn't trust the short who swore they only wanted to help. The mage might be Hawke’s sister, but while the rogue had earned his trust the sister hadn’t.

The job had been a simple one he figured that the reason Hawke brought her sister over the more advanced mages she, for whatever reason, kept company with. While the fight against the raiders had been simple enough he had been sloppy. The gash in his arm stung but it was nothing he could not manage. The elf tried to deal with it himself but she had caught sight of it all the same.

“You’re hurt I can…”

“NO!” He spat viciously before she could even attempt to cast a healing spell.

“I was only trying to…” Bethany looked hurt but Fenris hardly cared.

“No…” He insisted pulling his arm further away. In the reaches of his mind he recalled the pain of a magical touch, the revulsion clear in his mind.

The abomination would have pushed him, would have ranted and raved and turned this into some form of his rhetoric. Bethany however silently reached into her bag.

“At least let me make you a poultice and wrap it.” She offered. “No magic, but it will help with the pain and stop it from getting infected.” His eyes took in the offering she didn’t lie, it was a simple salve and clean bandages, not a hint of magic infecting it. With a grumble he offered her his arm and she took to work.

The younger Hawke kept her word she didn’t use magic, though it almost felt like she did. She was slow, deliberate, gentle and very very careful. It appeared Bethany had taken his words to heart when he spoke of the pain the lyrium caused him taking care to put as little pressure as she could on the fine lines.

“There we are, all done.” She announced with a smile looking down at her work. The stoic elf felt the corners of his mouth twitch to mimic. Carefully he tested the bandages, the simple work already made his arm feel better.

“Thank you.” He replied with a nod. It was for more than just the bandage, she respected him enough to not use magic when asked, he supposed he could offer her the same. Bethany Hawke was a curious sort of mage.

This assessment was proven right when she arrived one day alone at his door. She looked troubled but determined.

“I know we aren’t very close…” She began looking down at her hands, a common tell of her discomfort. “But can we talk?” A simple nod was all he gave as he let her in.

It was strange how very different the sisters were from each other. While Hawke would enter like she owned the place gladly partaking in his wine even if he had yet to offer, Bethany walked carefully in, gently dusting off a chair with her hand before sitting demurely, and refusing his offer of wine. Sometimes he could forget they were related. But then there were times like these where they had the same look in their eyes.

“I’m going to turn myself in to the templars.” Her hazel eyes shown with the same determination Hawkes would.

“What brought this on?” Fenris asked calmly taking a drink, seeing now why she sought him to speak.

“Bartrand came back from the Deep Roads a week ago.” Her voice was even as she spoke seemingly more interested in smoothing out the creases in her skirt. “And Marian hasn’t…None of them have.” But it was easy to tell she was close to breaking down. “And the templars have been looking around the area recently.” Fenris remained silent even as she took a moment to further compose herself. This was her story to tell in whatever manner she needed. “I.. I don’t know if she’ll come back….” She choked back tears. “If she does it…. it might be too late. If I wait any more they could find me, take me and harm mother.” He could tell she said these things less to convince him and more to convince herself. “But if I turn myself in, if I’m compliant they’ll leave everyone else alone.” Fenris understood her reasoning. Despite Bethany’s own dislike of the templars and the circle this was the best option with the hand she’d been dealt. But he also knew Hawke.

“Hawke will not take this well should she return.” He offered and she looked at him then. Though her eyes watered that hardened determination was still present.

“I know, that’s why I came to you.” He raised a brow at her confused, she produced a letter from her boot which she offered to him. Fenris grimaced he could scarcely understand the large letters on the outside if she expected him to read…. “If my sister returns and acts…well like herself, please give her that.” So he was to be a messenger, that he could managed and nodded placing the note carefully on the table that still managed to stay upright.

“I’ll do as you ask. I understand this was a difficult choice for you to make.”

“Thank you. I knew I could trust you with this.” She smiled at him and left leaving him to ponder. Bethany Hawke was a curious mage indeed.

Her assessment of what was to come had been correct as Hawke burst into his home in flurry.

“Fenris good you’re home.” If it weren’t for how quickly she spoke he wouldn’t have thought anything of the visit. “So I’m working with Varric, Isabela and Anders on a plan to break Bethany out of the Gallows.” She paced back and forth like a woman possessed muttering the details, to him or herself Fenris wasn't sure. “Hawke I don’t think…” He tried to interrupt but she waved him off.

“I know I know, you think the circle is fine but you wont be involved.” As though that was the only problem with this idea. “I just need you to cause a distraction at the docks so isabela can steal a ship for us and then…”

“Bethany would be against this!” He spoke up and the look in Hawke’s eyes struck him. Nearly froze him in fear.

“And just what do you know about my sister?” Anger flared behind her eyes, anger he’d never witnessed before. “What makes you think you know her better than me?”

“She told me.” He replied, standing firm knowing one wrong word and a dagger would be brought to his throat. “She also told me to give this to you, should you act rashly.” With care he handed Hawke the letter Bethany had entrusted him with.

Hawke read silently to herself, the anger slowly receding knowing full well her sisters hand. Minutes passed, far longer than it ought to have taken to read the short note, her watering eyes however was the only explanation needed for why it took so long.

“Why….” She sobbed. “Why did she think?….” Fenris could not read but he recalled the look on Bethany’s face, her determination and resolve.

“I think she didn’t want to make others suffer to defend her.” He answered absentmindedly, Hawke stared at him with an odd look on her face. Normally he’d question her but not today.

“Why did she come to you?” She asked and it wasn't as though he had an answer.

“I suppose she knew I wouldn't try to change her mind.” He shrugged.

That was the last time a plan to infiltrate the Gallows was spoken of.

Circle life seemed to suit her, Fenris decided and told her as much as they became woefully lost in the chateau haine dungeons. He received a light laugh from her.

“How so?” She asked trying to remember if they had gone left or right last time they were in this hall.

“You’re more sure of yourself, confident, less nervous.”

“Well I was always so afraid of being taken to the circle, now that I’m there what is there to be afraid of?”

“There is logic to that.”

“Oh good, I was afraid it sounded like nonsense.” He laughed lightly at that, a small smile on his face. “You seem better as well.”

“Do I?”

“You smile and joke more now, it looks good on you.” This wasn’t something he hadn’t heard before but somehow coming from Bethany it was different.

“Um Fenris?” She called stopping behind him, he thought she would suggest a new strategy for solving this labyrinth disguised as a dungeon. “What you said earlier did you mean it?”

“What is this about?” He asked raising a brow, he’d said a lot before this.

“That I ummm would look good in an Orlesian gown.” Her voice was softer, as though afraid to bring it up.

“I said you would look pretty.” He corrected. “And yes, I always mean what I say.”

“I see…” She muttered to herself, Fenris wanted to ask about her question but the blush of her cheeks and how quickly she changed the topic to matter at hand told him to drop it. His heart skipped a little as he followed after her. Something as well to be thought on later.

The battle had been hard but what was to follow would be harder. Yet all Fenris could note as everyone tried to find common ground and sort out the mess was Bethany’s absence. Silently he searched the war torn Gallows to find her hiding behind the rumble, weeping openly into her knees. He felt his heart clench at the sight.

“Bethany?” He called moving to sit beside her.

“You were right.” She weeped never raising her head. “Sooner or later….we all fall…” The elf was at a loss unsure of what to do of what he could do. “Is that our fate?” She cried. “To turn on those we love for the sake of survival?” And he knew to what she was referring. “I can’t…I can’t keep going knowing….I’ll…I’ll.”

“You won’t” He insisted firmly placing a hand on her back, attempting to offer comfort.

“How can you say that?” Her face rose to meet him, tears staining her face. “You always said and I…I didn’t believe didn't want to believe….but First Enchanter…” Her cries grew louder. “He was so strong…stronger than I’ll ever be and yet even he…how could he?”

“No, he was weak.” He held firm even with her tear soaked eyes looking up at him. “If he was strong he never would have even engaged the thought of blood magic.” She nearly choked on her sob then, recalling what he’d become. Fenris tried to help rubbing her back as he’d seen others do in a vien attempt to comfort, but the act was so very forgiven to him.

“Then whats the point? If Im just…” She cried, and Fenris resolve strengthened as he forced her head up. Strong hands supporting her in place as he met her eyes.

“You will not.” His voice was so clear and sure it took Bethany back, her hazel eyes widening as she took him in.

“But…but Orsinio ….”

“Was weak, you are strong.” He could tell she wanted to believe him but was afraid. She looked away biting her lip nervously before letting out a sound that might have been a cry or a laugh. Perhaps something in-between.

“I’d hardly say this is strong.” Doubt was clear on her face, but Fenris held strong firmly pulling her face back to look at him.

“The fact that you are crying after what you witnessed is what makes you strong.” Careful of his gauntlets Fenris brushed some of the tears off her cheeks. “To see that and feel pity, to feel fear, to have a desire to never let that be you, is strength Bethany.” Yes so much stronger than Anders or Merrill who thought themselves above it, that they could never be deceived or do such things. Bethany did not hold herself in such regard.

“You are the strongest mage I have ever met Bethany Hawke.” He confessed, and her face flushed at his praised. Fenris felt very small under her gaze.

“Fenris I….” Her words stopped with a gasp, pulling him out of his stupor. “You’re injured!” She pointed to his side that had bled thoroughly through his shirt.

“Oh I suppose I am.” He hadn’t even noticed, must have been the heat of battle caused him to not notice. While he cared very little for the injury Bethany brushed her tears aside and began to fret.

“I um…I don’t have any…” She worried her bottom lip as an idea struck moving to rip her robe. His hand stopped her.

“It’s ok.” Gently he took her hand and placed it over his wound. “If it’s you, it’s ok.”

“Are…are you sure?” He nodded and she smiled, her hand glowing over his wound.

Bethany’s magic felt much like her, warm and gentle. So unlike what Fenris was use to. Sometimes late at night he could still feel the cold, cruel touch of Darnarius or Hardina’s magic, even if used for healing. Bethany’s though felt nice. As she worked diligently he pondered if it was intentional or if magic matched its user? He supposed that was for someone else to figure out.

“Thank you.” She said pulling back once done.

“Shouldn’t I be thanking you?” He replied motioning to his side, that earned him a laugh.

“Thank you for your faith in me.” She clarified, motioning to his side. “For trusting me with this, I know it must be hard for you.”

“It was…” He confessed looking down, clean skin under a blood stained shirt. “But, I would gladly trust you with my wounds for the rest of my life.”

The look Fenris received once he raised his eyes back to mage was not what he’d expected. She held a delicate hand over her mouth, a slight flush to her cheeks. A tiny laugh leaving her, an action she was straining to hold back.

“What?” Bethany took a moment to compose herself as he stared, unsure of what he’d done.

“It’s just, I know it wasn’t your intent but,” She was trying so very hard to not laugh and nervously brushed some hair behind an ear. “What you said well um from someone else might have sounded like a proposal.” Now it was his turn to flush.

“I um I hadn’t intended…” Thinking on it, it was a touch intimate particularly for him. Awkwardly he coughed into his hand trying to regain composure. “Though I…it’s not as though I don’t..”

“As though you don’t?” She repeated and had she always been this close? Had her eyes always been so big?

“I umm that is to say…” She was definitely moving closer he was certain, and his throat was going dry.

“What’s this then?”

They both jumped at the voice, only to find Hawke leaning over the rubble looking down at them. With a very very smug grin on her face.

“Well? What are you two doing so very far away….all alone?” Fenris did not like that look, and neither did Bethany.

“Oh stop it!” She huffed getting to her feet. “Fenris was just..injured and didn’t want anyone seeing me use magic to help him.” That was a new bit of information for Fenris to add. Bethany Hawke could apparently lie through her teeth.

“Is that so?” But clearly her sister knew her tells.

“Yes it is.” Fenris raised himself up showing Hawke her sisters work. Hawke’s icy eyes took in the remnants of his injury with a look that let nothing slip.

“Wellllllll” She drawled a little too long. “Regardless we have others in need of Bethany’s attention. If you don’t mind.” There was a wicked gleam in her eyes as she pointed to a group of people surrounding Anders.

A quick glance and smile was all Bethany offered Fenris before hurrying off. He felt a smile tug on his face until Hawke made her presence apparent again.

“So you know my sister well, think she’s pretty aaaaannnnnnddddd let her use magic on you…” She had that glint in her eyes, Fenris hated being on the receiving end of that glint.

“Just what are you implying?” He grumbled glaring as she kept up with his pace.

“Oh nothing.” She shrugged, but he knew that was quite the opposite of what she meant. “Nothing at all.” Hawke all but sang as she walked off.

Fenris shot her a glare as she walked away but quickly his eyes went to watch Bethany. His expression softened. Bethany Hawke was a curious creature, and the strongest mage he’d ever had the pleasure of knowing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Behtany/Fenris is actually kinda adorable when you think about it.  
> As always help me in choosing my next one, offer a suggestion. Remember it can’t be cannon and I think not involving one of the two characters here.


	12. Varric & Isabela

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am frankly saddened there aren’t more fics for these two

Varric & Isabela

Isabela enjoyed a good hunt as much as she enjoyed a good duel. Not the boring sort where one trotted trough bug infested woods to follow after some dumb animal for hours. No her hunts were a dance of wits and seduction. A bedding just wasn’t as satisfying if there was no sport to it. She enjoyed playing the game as it meant revealing in her victory. But this was getting ridiculous.

Six years, six sodding years and Isabela had gotten nothing more than a passing flirtation from the dwarf. It was insulting is what it was. Varric knew the game she was playing and instead of letting her trap him or giving her the graces of stating she had the wrong weapons he merely played along.

It wasn’t fair, the first charming dwarf she ever met and he acted like he wasn’t interested. An act she saw through time and again when she caught him eyeing her many assets, and she knew for a fact long legs was not a trait she shared with dwarven girls. Only interested in dwarfs her pert ass.

Well no more. This was to be her final attempt, her last hurrah and she was going to get something out of this hunt one way or another.

“I challenge you to a game.” Isabela announced barging her way into his private rooms.

“No can do Rivani.” He laughed not once looking up from whatever it was he was writing, even as the table shook from her placing her feet on top. “I still haven’t recovered from the last one.”

“Ohhhhh but this isn’t a simple game of cards I’m challenging you to.” His quill stopped its scratching for a second before continuing. And so she lays the trap. “I came across it in Orlais, one of the few good things from that place.”

“And pray tell what is this game of yours?” Isabela smirked, he was taking the bait.

“It’s called The Game of Secrets.” His quill stops then, his head raising to meet her eyes.

“Alright I’ll bite. What’s this game entail?” He leaned back and she had him right where she wanted him.

“It’s very simple,” She began picking the dirt from under her nails, as though she could care less. “We each set a stack of five gold sovgiens, we go until one of us is left with nothing.” With a smirk she pulled a coin from her bodice placing it on the table. “I say something and you bet whether or not it’s a lie. You guess right you get a coin, guess wrong you loose one.”

“Ahhhh I see why you chose me for this game.” Varric began, his eyes twinkling deviously at the prospect of the game. “But shouldn’t it be called the game of liars?”

“Oh no see if I tell a truth and you think it a lie I get two coins.” She smirked moving her body gracefully to properly lean in. “Don’t you want to learn some of my secrets?”

“I already know your secrets.”

“Do you?”

The room was quiet save for the sounds from bar downstairs and the drumming of his fingers on the table. It was a mock of thought, a tell she’d found in their card games, he’d made his decision it was only a matter of admitting it.

“Alright Rivani you got yourself a game.”

It took them a few minutes to set the table, putting his papers and ink away and of course getting a few pints from the bar. What’s the point of a betting game if you’re sober?

“So who goes first?” Isabela smirked raising the tankard to her lips.

“Ladies first.”

“Aww what a gentleman.” She cooed mockingly only to be met with his mock of bow. She did so enjoy their repartee.

“Alright. I’ve never seen Hawke naked.” And the game began.

“Ok now that’s a lie.” He laughed only for the pirate to shake her head taking two of his coins. “What!? But I thought you two...”

“Oh we did.” She interrupted. “We just didn’t care enough to remove more than was needed.”

“Alright alright,” He chuckled trying to compose himself. “My turn. I once had a dwarven lord kick the shit out of me for something I wrote in a book.”

“Hmmmm,” she thought as she drank. “I’ll say truth.”

“That my dear was a lie.” With ease he took his coin back. “Though I did write a rather scathing piece about a dwarven lord I didn’t care for, he just never figured it out.”

“Too thick headed I assume.”

“Eh you change em to a human and most dwarves can’t tell. They can’t all be like me.”

“A pity really.” The bluntness of her words didn’t seem to strike him or if they did he was hiding it exceedingly well. Still this was her last attempt and being coy seemed to do her no favors.

“My turn. Isabela isn’t my birth name.“

“Truth. Isabela isn’t exactly a Rivani name.”

“That it isn’t.”

“So what was it?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know.”

And so the game continued for hours, coins being passed back and forth amongst the pair as well as lovely little tidbits to keep in the back of their minds. All while their many tankards emptied. The room was pleasantly warm and filled with laughter though Isabela was clearly besting Varric with her seven coins to his three but he didn’t seem to mind. Reveling in the secrets he’d learnt of her.

“Hmmmmm let me see....,” She drawled as she stretched in the chair, looking delightfully sinful. “I had sex with the Hero of Fereldan.” Varric only laughed taking two of her coins.

“It’s a truth. I’ve heard you spout that tale at least once a month at the Hanged Man.” He’d relaxed in his chair having removed his duster and gloves some time ago. “You’re slipping Rivani.”

“Maybe I slipped on purpose to extend our fun?” She purred enjoying seeing him so relaxed. His cheeks flushed at more than just the drink, she was getting to him.

“My mother was a lovely woman.” His attempt at changing the subject.

“That’s a lie.” Her hand reaching to take a coin only for him to smack her hand away playfully.

“It’s the truth she was a lovely woman.....to other people.” He smirked taking his two coins. Normally she’d praise him for his deviousness instead she pouted and patted her hand. The response was a laugh just as she’d expected. “Sorry I had to get rough with you.”

“Ohhhhh Varric I can think of much better ways you can be rough with me.” Hook, line and sinker just as he started to drink. As he coughed for dear life she continued. “In fact I have this ....”

“Mercy Isabela have mercy on this poor dwarf.”

“Aww well since you’ve asked nice. I’ve never had sex with a dwarf.” Isabela was hardly being subtle any more and Varric knew it. What he didn’t know was her angle.

“Lie.” He announced holding a hand for his coin.

“Fine you got me.” Not really she wanted him to call her. “But only because I didn’t specify.” Dropping the coin now putting him in the lead with eight. Not that winning this game was the goal of the night. “Had i said I’ve never slept with a male dwarf it’d be the truth.”

To her surprise, Varric made no comment only taking his coin. Well that was some wasted bait she thought annoyed.

“I’ve never slept with a non dwarf.” He smirked and her golden eyes gleamed.

“Lie!” She shouted proudly taking his coin.

“And just how do you know that?” She laughed at her victory, no doubt plotting to say it was the truth and ending their game.

“You have your contacts and I’m friends with nearly every worker at the Blooming Rose.” The look on his face, utterly surprised and embarrassed, if that was all she got from this it would be worth it. Why she’d commission a painting. “And you bought a lovely lady with legs for miles time a little more than six months ago.”

“Just take your coin and get on with it Rivani.” It was the closest she’d ever gotten to hearing him mad. A smart woman would drop it, but then Isabela was nothing if not bold.

“Awww Sore spot? Don’t beat yourself up Varric everyone gets lonely and there arent many dwarf girls in Kirkwall...” She’d meant to tease him, say how human women had their advantages and she’d be willing to demonstrate, but instead he spoke up.

“It’s not that she wasn’t a dwarf, it’s that she wasn’t....” His eyes drifted over to his crossbow for a moment and it told the rogue all she need know.

“I’ve had my heart broken.” She announced simply as though it were like anything else she’d said this night. He waited a moment trying desperately to figure out her game.

“.....Truth?” He asked unsure for the first time this night. Casually she tossed him two coins.

“I was surprised honestly. Wasn’t even sure at first but that’s what it was.”

“It was that elf right?” He asked watching her drink. “The antivan.” She nodded softly.

“You never forget your first I suppose, not really. Even if you didn’t realize it...” she sighed this was far more personal than intended but they way he was looking at her, like a good book he couldn’t predict, she wanted to keep it that way.

“My isabela he’d call me.” She sighed thumbs rubbing the rim of her tankard. “said it meant little beauty in Antiva. I loved the way it sounded coming from his lips, I never wanted to be called by anything else.” She expected a jest, maybe a ‘nothing little about you’ but nothing. He just continued to stared and said,

“Hmmm I thought it sounded Antivan.” She smirked glad for the levity.

“He left as quickly as he came but I wasn’t upset then not really. We’d meet up now and then and.....it was like no time had passed at all.” Varric smiles softly at her and it was only then Isabela realized she’d been smiling at the memories. “But then this time I felt like I was meeting a stranger. Zevran lived an entire life away from me and it changed him....that hurt me more than I thought. That the warden had known him better than me.”

Silence passed between them as Isabela pursed her lips forcing back any tears that might slip. That had never been her intent she hadn’t considered something like this could happen, alcohol didn’t normally make her mopey.

“Well that’s enough of that.” She announced her smile not reaching her eyes as Varric studied them. “Your turn. Almost got me beat.” He regarded her with a strange combination of sympathy and contemplation, It unnerved her in a wonderfully exhilarating way. Regardless how this all turned out this hunt was indeed enjoyable.

“Bianca is all the company I need.” To someone else his face was utterly neutral not a single tell, yet she read him like one of his books taking a coin. “Hey! You didn’t even ask.” She didn’t falter smoothly rising to her feet.

“That’s because it’s a trick question and you know it.” She smirked moving to his side of the table. “A sweet lie you tell yourself but why I’m afraid I don’t know.” With a hop she sat on the tables edge her thighs resting where his hand had. The hand he’d moved in hopes of using to hide the small blush that crept on his face, she noted with a smirk.

“How about this then, last one for all the coins.” She offered taking his tankard and knocking back what was left with ease. “You can choose to think of it as one statement or two.” He finally looked back at her confused about her words.

“Wouldn’t that mean you’d loose?” She just grinned wickedly at him.

“Oh I can still win depending on your answer.” With a flick of the wrist her two coins rested on the bare flesh of her thigh.

“So here it is, I am genuinely interested in you and I made up this game purely to entice you.” It was said simply and plainly without any flair or smolder yet the dwarfs jaw seemed to drop for a moment.

He thrummed his fingers in thought beside her thigh. Isabela couldn’t be sure what he was thinking. Doubt maybe? Guilt perhaps? Whatever it was it had him reeling and left her nervous. She’d laid herself bare here, figuratively which was so much worse than literally.

It felt as though hours had passed in silence until she felt a warm calloused hand on her thigh.

“Truth?” He asked sweetly trying to hide his embarrassment should he guess wrong.

She smiled, and tipped his chin up to say, “Truth.” Before leaning down and capturing her prize. Oh yes, Isabela did so enjoy a good hunt and she’d savor this one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I debated writing a morning after scene where they joke about Varric working the Rose But it was already pretty long. As always help me in choosing my next one, offer a suggestion. Remember it can’t be cannon and I think not involving one of the two characters here.


	13. Carver & Fenris

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long and more of a Carver character thing but oh well

It was strange the more he tried to not watch the more he caught himself staring.

“See something at your right Carver?” Asked Keran as they walked patrol around the Gallows. Damn he hadn’t even noticed this time.

“Ah no just uh familiar face is all.” Really it wasn’t a lie per-say and Keran took the excuse, but the fact was the elf always made him stare longer than he’d have liked. As Keran kept to his orders Carver looked back and saw the Snow White hair turn out of view. Damn that bastard.

At first Carver had assumed it was the strength that fascinated him. Carver had trained for years to be able to weild a broad sword as he did and his body showed it. Yet Fenris was as thin as rail and cleaved through enemies three times his size. It was amazing watching him in battle, but also a sure way to get tossed on your ass and Carver had the bruises to prove it.

One day though the younger Hawke realized it was more than that when his sister flicked his head for not answering her. He’d been so busy eavesdropping on a conversation between Fenris and Aveline he hadn’t even heard his sisters grating voice. Hadn’t cared either just wanted to learn more about the former slave and he was afraid to know why.

Three years later spent in the Templar barracks far away and still the elf distracted him. It sent him through a loop causing him to question everything. So he came to the Chantry to “pray”, really it was just the only quiet place he could go to think.

Markers flaming ass his legs were dead and he was no closer to figuring out his Fenris problem. It wasn’t that he liked men, he hardly cared about most of his fellow Templar’s and he still fondly recalled Merrill sweet face and Isabela many assets late at night. It was only Fenris who stood out in his mind, there had to be something wrong with him.

With a shaky breath he rose his head, this self reflection getting him no where.

“What are you doing here?” That familiar gravely voices called and Carver massage his temples. ‘Great,’ he thought, ‘Now I’m hearing things.’

“Carver are you....unwell?” The voice asked again and he shook his head.

“Yes probably...” He snorted, now he was talking to himself.

“What?” It was only then Carver realized the voice was coming from a fixed point beside him. Daring a look up the elf in question stared down at him befuddled. Carver blinked twice hoping it was all in his head but no, this was just like the tattoo thing he’d made a tit of himself again.

“I um never mind uh...” Quickly he rose to his feet, they felt heavy and quivered but he didn’t want to look more foolish in front of the man. “I just came here to think and uh...I” He dared another glance, three years later still so imposing and impossibly cool. “I got lost in thought is all.” It was so hard not to stare.

Fenris made only a slight hmm of understanding in response. ‘How does he do that?’ Carver wondered, ‘How does he say so much with so little?’

“So um why are you here?” He asked trying to change the conversation only for Fenris to gesture above and behind him. There Carver saw his sister speaking with the Grand Cleric along with Varric and Aveline.

“Hawke had some business here and noticed you below as we waited.” The elf explained. “She wanted to come down herself and speak with you but we all agreed that was a poor idea.”

Carver hadn’t seen his sister in so long it was strange observing her from the outside.

“So how is my sister?” He asked and Fenris gave a quick half laugh in return. “What?” His mind quickly going on the defensive if there was one person he didn’t want to appear foolish to it was him.

“Pardons But that’s exactly what she wanted me to ask you.” Carver relaxed then, Fenris seemed more at ease now and it washed over the young Templar easily.

“Well tell her I’m fine. Templar life isn’t what I expected but it suits me well enough.” At least he wasn’t stuck in his big sister’s shadow anymore there was that.

“Hm yes I would agree.” The comment caught Carver by surprise so much that he thought he misheard. He tried to ask but Fenris spoke again. “Hawke is Well all things considered. Things seem to just pile up around her.”

“Oh? And the great Hawke can’t handle it?” He snorted, why his sister couldn’t leave well enough alone was beyond him. Fenris shot him a look that made Carver regret his words, some strange cross of anger and disappointment.

“I did not say that.” The look made Carver feel small but not on a defensive way like usual, sheepishly he apologized. He wanted Fenris to see him in a better light an equal one.

“Was there anything else she wanted to ask?” At such a simple question Carver bore witness to something rare, Fenris flushed.

“There um was something....” he muttered quickly, moving his weight from one foot to the other. “Venhedis...” Whatever Hawke wanted him say Fenris did not want to repeat. But he a man of his word. “She wanted me to ask...” the elf sighed deeply and Carver was very curious. “If Cullen’s ass looked as good out of armor as it does in armor...”

“I’m not answering that.”

“I had a feeling you wouldn’t.”

He wanted to ask why his sister wanted to know that, why she felt the need to embarrass him like this, why she seemed to never grow up, how Fenris was, how he got that new sword, if he still lived at that mansion, a million perfectly acceptable questions and what managed to leave his mouth was,

“So you catch that Darnaruis guy?” The glare and the grunt was all Carver needed to regret his words and curse his stupid brain.

“I have to go.” Shit!

“I’m sorry I didn’t....”

“Hawke is leaving.” The elf pointed to where his sister once was.

“Right....” was Fenris not actually angry at him? “And you have to follow....”

“Hawke is dealing with the Qunari, she finds my presence helps with them though I disagree.”

“Guess that asshole was good for something then.” Carver let out, silently cursing his inability to think before speaking. “I mean cause that language is hard I hear and umm.”

“I’m going now.” Fenris interrupted the Templar’s frantic attempt at apology, coolly walking off.

“Right so um see you.....” Feeling his good bye falling on deft ears Carver cursed himself once more wanting to rip all of the hair from his stupid head. Instead he settled for smashing a few practice dummies to pieces at the barracks. Still unsure why Fenris’s opinion meant so much to him.

Nights off is a rare thing for a Templar but carver found that only served to make them better. Drinking with his brothers in arms at the hanged man was made all the better knowing it’d be a month before they’d be able to again.

“Looks like you loose again Carver.” Hugh laughed looking at his abysmal hand.

“You really cant bluff for shit can you?” Joined Ruvena as she took her winnings.

“My luck will turn around just deal the next hand.” Carver insisted with a sneer as they laughed, good naturedly of course but a laugh at his expense all the same.

“Isn’t that what you said last time?” Keran asked shuffling the deck.

“Oi took you long enough.” Interrupted Hugh at Paxleys return with drinks and a frustrated look on his face.

“Shut it I just got shot down.” He grumbled into his ale.

“Oh by who? Someone with eyes?” High retorted and now Carver joined in on the laughter.

“Ugh the one at the end of the bar.” Paxley replied gesturing the direction but not turning to look.

“Ohhhhh her, ain’t that like flying too close to the sun for you?” Hugh teased as carver turned to look recognizing the woman instantly.

“Like you’d have better luck Hugh!” He spat back.

“I would.” Carver smirked. “In fact I bet you lot I can get her to take me to her room.”

Laughter erupted from their corner of the room as the pot slowly raised, each one adding a biting remark about how he shouldn’t gamble. But then Carver wasn’t gambling this time and the fact he knew the woman in question wasn’t something they needed to know.

“Isabela.” He called when he approached. “Got your ship yet?”

“Not yet.” She replied curtly, still a sore spot he supposed, but it didn’t effect her long as her lips curled into a smirk. “But I see Templar life is fairing you well.”

Before he knew it her hand snaked it’s way around his bared arm. “I swear these are as large as a mast by now.” She purred giving his bicep an appreciative squeeze.

“Well you’d know a thing or two about large masts.” He replied without a hint of boyish embarrassment. Her infectious laughter boomed and he had to fight not to turn and look at his companions.

“Oh I like you all grown up.” It wasn’t a compliment Carver expected to hear but appreciated it all the same.

“Actually Isabela I wanted to make you an offer.” The quirk of her eyebrow and quick glance down told him exactly what she assumed the offer was. “Not that!” He clarified maybe a bit louder and quicker than he liked as she chuckled. “Well not exactly.... see my fellow Templar’s over there bet a rather large pot that I couldn’t get you to take me to your room.”

“Ahhhhh and they don’t...”

“They do not. So split it down the middle?”

“You got yourself a deal.” Which she punctuated by grabbing his ass and pulling him up the stairs.

“I’m afraid though that we can only chat tonight.” She sighed as she closed the flimsy door before lounging on her cot. “My monthly gift is rather strong, and Hawke has made it apparent you are off limits.”

“Since when does my sister care who I sleep with?” He chuckled sitting across from her in what could be called a chair.

“She doesn’t, just cares if it’s me.” Carver wasn’t sure what the pirate meant exactly by that. But now that he was here with Isabela....

“Actually there is something I’d like to ask you.” This was so stupid he knew but who else could he ask? “See one of my bunk mates asked me for advice but I uh couldn’t give him an answer.”

Isabela nodded her head to tell him to go on and Carver straightened himself. No need to be nervous this wasn’t about him it was another Templar.

“Well see he finds himself drawn to another man and that’s never happened to him before. He’s always liked women and it’s not like he suddenly sees other men like this, just this one...”

“And he’s feeling uncertain and insecure and just wants to know if he’s crazy or not.” Isabela finished with a smirk.

“Yes! That exactly!” He exclaimed a bit too quickly. “Obviously I couldn’t offer any help but I figured you being you...”

“Oh of course, though I do have one question was there ever a physical reaction?” They way she asked, as though it was natural had his face flush.

“yes...I mean I think there was. Why uh why else would he ask, right?” He didn’t want to look at her carver knew he’d messed this up. “You know we’re talking about me don’t you ?” Her laugh of a response was warm and oddly maternal, strange as it was, but carver wanted to die.

“You are a terrible liar sweet thing.” Her hand lifted his head by his chin to look into her warm eyes. “And there is absolutely nothing wrong with you.”

“It sure doesn’t feel that way...” Carver pushed back stubbornly, but Isabela wouldn’t let him retreat.

“You know what I’ve found over the course of my life Carver?” He shook his head as much as he could, she was stronger than she looked. “It’s that people are attracted to people.” His face must have shown his confusion for she giggled a little before continuing. “People like to say they have a type, hair, body, skin, eyes, height, race, sex. But time and time again I’ve seen those preferences pushed aside for a person because there’s just something about them.” Carver’s blue eyes widened at her words, that was exactly how he felt.

“Really?” She smiled gently, flicking his chin up playfully to reply,

“Really.”

Carver felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. So he was just attracted to Fenris because he found him so impressive. It was simple but it eased his mind.

“So gonna go after him?” Isabela asked casually sitting back on the cot.

“Oh maker no.” He laughed out shaking his head at the thought.

“Why not? Worst is he says no.” Carver scoffed at the idea, after all Fenris could quite literally rip his heart out.

“And what would I say exactly oh wise pirate captain?” He laughed.

“How about.... I don’t normally go for men but I’ll make an exception for you.” Carver couldn’t stop the laughter that erupted from himself at how silly the line was. Hed die before uttering such a thing.

“Like hell that’d work.” Isabela only rolled her eyes.

“Its worked on me.” Carver wanted to say something like ‘lots of things work on you’ but he didn’t instead he said,

“Thank you Isabela. Um could you not tell....”

“My lips are sealed.” She smirked and he smiled as he left.

It wasn’t that Carver had intentionally avoided Fenris, it was just that everything thing else seemed more important. Life got really complicated in three years. Yet here they were standing in wreak of a broken city.

“Well this is a right mess.” He announced sitting down best he could beside the elf in his armor. All he received was a solemn “hmm” in response his eyes never leaving the harbor.

“Never thought I’d fight a living statue.” Carver continued and was rewarded for his efforts with a small chuckle.

“Agreed.” He said and carver smiled silently to himself.

A silent moment passed between the two as their sore muscles relaxed from the battle. Carver contemplated asking where Fenris got his new sword but oddly it was the elf who spoke up.

“So what will you do now?” He asked casually.

“Not sure...” In fact Carver hadn’t really thought of the after, just surviving. “You?”

“Think I’ll go back to Tevinter.” Fenris replied in that way that made everything seem simple. “Thought I’d might help other slaves like I have been.”

“And takeout some magisters along they way.” Carver added playfully jabbing his arm.

“Should they get in my way.” He laughed, Carver found it funny how easy it was to talk now. So easy he didn’t regret his next words.

“Want a tag along?” That got the elf’s attention.

“What about the order?” He asked sparing a glance to the armor he wore. Armor he once thought he wanted.

“The order can shove it after this mess.” Carver proclaimed roughly removing the breast plate and tossing it. “I’d rather do some real good.....That is if you don’t mind?”

Fenris sat up straight in a show of thought and suddenly Carver felt very nervous. He’d made the offer on impulse but maybe it was a bad idea in the long run. Briefly he recalled Isabelas words, the worst he could do was say no. But at least he’d have an answer then.

“I don’t normally go for men but I’ll make an exception for you.”

Carver eyes widen in shock did he really just hear what he’d heard?

“What?” Carver hadn’t realized he’d said it until Fenris appeared to recoil, coughing nervously and turning away.

“Sorry that was ummm...” Were his ears red? “It was something foolish Isabela once told me....I.... just forget it.” Carver chuckled to himself his eyes never leaving the back of Fenris head.

“You know she told me the same thing once.” He watched as the elf’s shoulders began to relax.

“Did she now?”

“Yeah.”

“That wicked woman.”

“That she is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to take a break for holiday stuff and well this one kinda got away from me. As always help me in choosing my next one, offer a suggestion. Remember it can’t be cannon and I think not involving one of the two characters here.


	14. Merrill & Anders

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning this one is LONG and touches on suicide.

Maybe it was nostalgia that made Merrill come this way, a rumor leading her to a run down path, why she could hear Varric’s raspy voice complaining if she closed her eyes. Or perhaps she was being childish, being what was essentially a keeper to her group of elevan followers was more taxing than she’d anticipated and indulging in such childish curiosity was a rarity. Whatever the reason that lead her down the old path Merrill could hardly say mattered much when she saw him there.

The rumors said a ghost had taken residence deep in the woods, that it glowed an unnatural color and was fierce in protecting the forest. But such a thing was not what Merrill found.

“Anders?” She called carefully. Were it not for the ripple of that blue magic swirling his form she’d hardly recognize him. Even from so far away she could see he was thin, alarmingly so, his hair a tangled long mess, and those black feathers she’d once admired looked as though they’d molted, dirt and blood clearly visible on the black fabric. One thing was certain as she approached he was not well.

“LEAVE!” The magic forced her back, were she not a mage Merrill would never have withstood it. This force would surely frighten anyone away but she knew this magic well.

“Hello Justice.” She spoke calmly to the spirit. Though at a glance he might have looked fearsome merrill could see whatever had befallen Anders was effecting him too.

“LEAVE WITCH!” The spirit roared but that seemed all he could manage now. His breathing ragged and legs shaking so much merrill was sure he would not be able to stand were it not for the staff.

“You are unwell.” She replied calmly walking ever closer, from here she could see the glimmer of healing magic under Justice’s aura. Anders was injured in some way, a way magic could not heal. Her green eyes searched for the source, only then noting how much he was sweating. “I can help.”

“I DO NOT NEED YOUR MAGIC.” Justice tried in vain to force her back once more but faltered losing his footing. Grasping the staff tighter his breathing growing more ragged, just how long had they been this way?

“No magic can fix this.” But it seemed Anders had known this at least at first. Around the small camp the elf saw many potions and ingredients to treat the illness, but none looked right as though the mage was making due with what he had. “You are ill I have supplies at my camp that can help you I just need to...”

“LEAVE...” Justice sounded so weak, it crushed her heart a little. The spirit was so strong before seeing them like this....

“Please Justice just let me help.” Merrill pleaded softly standing so close she could touch him if she dared. “If this keeps up you’ll be nothing but a walking corpse!”

“GO!” For a moment the elf wondered why she was trying so hard? It wasn’t as though they’d been particularly close in Kirkwall and even if he were aware Anders would never accept her help. Or anyone’s. In fact it seemed as though....

“He wants this, doesn’t he Justice?” The spirit stilled and Merrill had her answer. This was just like after the Chantry seeking retribution for his actions. Merrill wondered why he felt this way, if it was for the same act or something new? Maybe he thought it a poetic end.

His body flinched as she palmed his forehead, it was so hot and clammy she was shocked anders was even alive.

“Please let me help him.” She spoke softly her fingers lightly brushing his loose hair back. “There’s so much good he could still do... No, that he needs to do.” Once the words left her the glow faded and a small smile appeared on her face. “Thank you, I’ll get Anders help.”

As Merrill made her way back to her clan to help bring anders someplace safe to rest she realized what had brought her out here and why she was trying so hard. She’d been lonely. Lonely for a long while.

——————

Merrill hadn’t told her clan members who anders was only that he was a man in need of help. And that was very true. It looked like every second was painful to him. At the very least he had no wounds to make it worse. But he was far skinnier than she’d expected.

As she worked on his medicine anders stirred. He wasn’t awake per-say, he was too weak for that, but he muttered some words. Not coherent enough for it to mean anything to Merrill but his expression told her he was afraid.

“Rest.” She cooed, gently rubbing the balm she’d mixed over his forehead. “All will be well.” Slowly his brow relaxed “See feeling better already.” The elf smiled gently it was so odd being the one to care for a healer. An odd luxury she knew as he’d never allow it were he conscious.

——————

Anders awoke slowly feeling oddly good. The serenity of waking however was quickly replaced with fear. This wasn’t the woods, it was a tent, how did he get here? Did Justice... his head hurt too much to concentrate. All the man knew was that he needed his staff and he had to leave.

He tried to get up off the small cot but found his limbs to weak from atrophy and over use of magic. Justice had warned him of this and now he wished he’d listened. The sickness itself wasn’t helping matters.

As he tried to move Anders was vaguely aware of sounds from outside the tent. People a good lot of them going about their business. He had no idea how he might make an escape with so many walking about so he stopped trying to move allowing himself to rest.

If he was to die so be it, that was the plan anyway.

“Oh good you’re up.” The familiar chipper voice of Merrill called. Anders had not expected to see that she was the one who moved him.

“Merrill how did..” He asked before doubling over in pain as he tried to sit up.

“Oh no! here let me help.” Placing her bowls down she carefully helped him sit up, glad he was conscious. “You’re still ill not to mention all that magic you used, it’ll be a bit before you’re body can support you again.”

Merrill looked older Anders noted to himself as she went to retrieve a bowl, it was something in her eyes mostly rather than her face that still seemed youthful. But there was a tiredness to her, more cautious less excitable.

“Here try to eat something.” She offered with a spoonful raised and ready for him to eat. Anders hadn’t seen real food in what felt like years and the porridge she offered smelt wonderful, but...

“I can feed myself.” His reply was met with a soft chuckle.

“You’re shaking hands say different.” Merrill was right and she knew it, still it felt a little odd for Anders he wasn’t a child. “Cmon now I can’t give you more medicine on an empty stomach. And feeding you asleep was no good.” Carefully she blew on the food as Anders chuckled in dismay at the idea.

“Are you serious? Why would you..” Was all he could get out as the spoon was shoved in his mouth.

“There not so bad right?” She had a smug look on her face and while he normally would have retorted that what she’d done was dangerous all he could say was,

“That’s really good.” Gladly opening his mouth for another spoonful, given more gently this time.

“It’s mushroom porridge, Karah’s specialty.” She giggle enjoying this act of feeding someone else.

“How have I never had it before?” Another eager mouthful and another sweet giggle.

“It’s a Daelish dish that’s why.”

“Then we Shems are missing out.” They both laughed at that, while she scooped more.

“I’m glad. That you can still laugh.” If she took away the tent and the longer hair and the obvious lack of eating Merrill could almost pretend they were back in Kirkwall. “I was worried when I found you like that....”

A person with more tact might have told Merrill ‘thank you’ or reassured her worry. But then Anders was never very tactful.

“How did you get me out of there?” Was what Anders asked with a bitter tang of suspicion. One so obvious even Merrill picked up on it.

“Well I didn’t use blood magic if that’s what you’re inferring.” One thing she never wanted to relive was Anders constant nagging on the subject why he was worse than the keeper. “I just had a talk with Justice then got some help carrying you is all.” Her matter of fact tone struck him for a moment.

“What do you mean you had a talk?” Justice wasn’t the sort to be reasonable on the best days. But Merrill wanted the subject changed and shushed him with the porridge.

“Come now it’ll get cold and I’d like to eat my share as well.” Anders found he had to relent there for good manners if nothing else. He was alive and recovering due to her charity even if he’d have rather...

“They dont know who you are.” she spoke up once he finished eating getting her own bowl.

“What?”

“My clan.” She explained between mouthfuls. “They just think you’re a human I know.”

For a moment he considered what she just told him, lying to the clan that he was sure she was running wasn’t that....

“Alright then, time to get to work.” She announced abruptly taking the empty bowls as she moved.

“Um Merrill about your clan...”

“Oh yes isn’t it great!” She exclaimed with a glee she hadn’t shown since Kirkwall. “I never thought I’d be with a clan again let alone be the keeper of one. I’ll introduce you to everyone once you can walk again.”

Anders panicked a little at that promise causing him to feel dizzy for a moment. His body steady at the feeling of Merrill’s small hands over his, a small vile placed inside.

“Do you think you can manage to drink this?” She asked gently, worry clear in her eyes. Carefully he nodded, he’d already imposed enough on her. “Good. Drink amnd get some rest.”

After doing as she bid Anders fell into a deep restful sleep, waking up hours later once more to the smell of food. A comfort he hadn’t known for a long time.

“Merrill there’s something I have to ask....” Anders interrupted the meal with some reservations.

“Don’t worry I was the one who changed them.” Merrill reacted quickly enjoying her food.

“What?”

“Your clothes. I was the one who changed them so don’t worry.”

“That’s not what I... Wait you what!?!?”

Anders had been too tired to notice before but sure as day his old worn clothes had been replaced with a loose pair of slightly short linen clothes. His cheeks turned red at the realization then that his underclothes were as well missing.

“Oh don’t be so embarrassed you don’t have anything I haven’t seen before.” Yet even as she said this a hint of red could be seen on her cheeks. “Though I must admit it was a bit....different from what I expected...”

“WHAT?!” His head raced trying to understand why she even had expectations about his, neither regions.

“Oh well you know from the way Isabela use to describe it.” She giggled at the memory while Anders frowned. Isabela was hardly accurate in her story telling and while a part of him wanted Merrill to clarify what she meant another did not want to know.

“You are aware Isabela only saw it once right?” He grumbled taking a large bite of the cooked fish she offered him, glad to have control of his hands once more. Still Merrill only giggled to herself.

“I miss her you know, she sends letters but... it’s not the same.” She sighed looking off from her seated place beside him. “I’ve been missing a lot of things lately...”

Silently Anders had to agree there was, after all, a time back then when he was actually happy in Kirkwall. A hazy warm glow of comfort that no one could take from him, not even himself.

“Oh but you wanted to ask me something.” Merrill chirped once finished moving to a chest at the other side of the tent to remove her bulkier armaments.

“Yes I just....” For once Anders wanted to think of his words carefully looking down to poke at his food in thought. “Look I’m grateful for everything you’ve done but...why did you do it?”

“You needed help so I helped you.” Was her simple response as it was a simple question.

“Can’t you see you’re putting your clan in danger?” He shouted maybe a little louder than he had intended, but couldn’t she see how foolish she was being? Then again to Anders Merrill seemed to regard he choices far too simply.

“I’m not about to have you lecture me on what is and isn’t dangerous.” Her voice never raised but there was an edge to it that told Anders to drop whatever point he was thinking of making. In an odd way it reminded him of Aveline. With an almost maternal sort of care Merrill took the plate Anders and long since ignored.

“If however you feel indebted then there is something I wanted to ask of you once you’re well.” She spoke in her normal tone. An olive branch that Anders nodded to take. “There’s a young girl here with us, a mage.”

“You’re more than capable of teaching her.” He spoke up for all his taunting he knew Merrill to be an excellent mage. But she softly shook her head.

“Not for what she wants to learn. Her mother was a healer and she wishes to follow in her footsteps.” And then Anders understood. “I never really had a knack for it, I’ve taught her the basics but....what she wants to learn i can’t teach her.”

“But I could.” With a soft smile she nodded. This wasn’t the reason she’d helped him but she’d never turn it down.

“The clan would benefit greatly if you taught her your skill.” She’d always been impressed by his healing magic, he made it look so easy.

“Would a daelish really want to learn from a Shem though?”

“Oh that’s not a problem, she isn’t dalish.”

“What?”

“You’ll see when you meet her, but for now sleep.”

While Anders wanted to know what exactly merrill meant but that the question was dropped as the elf crawled onto the other side of the cote.

“Is this where you’ve been sleeping?” He had wondered that briefly before as there was only one in the tent.

“Where else would I sleep?” She replied with a yawn settling in as she’d done the nights before. As her head rested though she felt his body move. “What are you doing?”

“I....well I just thought...” it felt wrong taking so much from her.

“It’s not a problem Anders besides...” her hand reached out tugging him back in place. “It gets cold at night.”

With that he relented lying down with ease beside her. As he began to relax he felt a pair of hands on his back. Gentle and warm.

“Merrill...”

“I joked earlier but.....” she moved her hands in soothing circles that mirrored her voice. “The scars, they’re very old aren’t they?”

“....yes” there were a million things he could say, that he wanted to say but they all failed in comparison to her gentle care.

“I’m sorry.” At that Anders let out a bitter little laugh.

“Oh did a blood mage make those? Could’ve sworn a Templar did.” But Merrill didn’t take his bait only snuck her arms around him in a loose embrace.

“Someone ought to apologize.”

He didn’t fight her after that, she was right it got cold at night.

—————————————

To say Anders was confused by the sight of Merrill’s clan once he finally made a recovery was an understatement. He viewed them as they went about their day curiously, not that that was the odd part. Amongst those clearly elvan dalish or otherwise there were humans and quite a few half elves or those with elvan blood. He’d seen dalish clans take in those of their blood but humans? Never.

Merrill found herself rather amused at his surprise, after Kirkwall she doubted she could ever live among only the dalish again.

After helping the elves of Kirkwall many chose to stay with her some out of respect others out of a desire to understand the old ways. It grew slowly over the years, dalish like herself frustrated with the rules came to join and humans who found themselves the lover of an elf sought her to take part for them. There were even some humans with a genuine interest in the old ways and living simply that were welcomed.

“I suppose it’s a clan of odds and ends that just don’t fit anywhere else.” She explained and Anders thought it suited her well.

She introduced him to the girl that would be his student, a young half elf. The girl was quick to study and eager to learn the task Merrill had given him hardly a challenge.

Months passed as he taught the girl not that they were ever at a loss for practice. The clan was by no means small and there was always someone with a problem to attend to. Not to mention word slipping out of a new healer in the woods. And that’s all he was here a human healer.

Anders days were spent in anonymity, teaching those you wanted to listen and assisting where he could. It was in these days he saw the troubles of the elvan, troubles he chose to ignore when Merrill had told him back in Kirkwall. It shamed him a little his past self, he wondered if it was Justices tendencies for fixation or his own.

Merrill enjoyed watching Anders go about his day, he looked well and truly alive. But if she were honest she was truly grateful for the nights. It was nice to speak so casually with someone, to complain and whine without worry. Sometimes it shocked her how much the little things piled up. As nice as it was though she rather expected this conversation to come.

“Merrill I heard your idea about moving the clan....”

“Can I braid your hair!” She blurted out quickly causing great confusion to him.

“What?”

“It’s just it’s soooooo pretty and I’ve wanted to ask you since back in Kirkwall

I just could never figure out a good way to do it. So I figured why not just ask.” Before she’d lose the chance to.

“I um I suppose that’s alright.” He shrugged he never thought his hair all that special but the glee in her eyes told him otherwise.

“Oh thank you! You won’t regret it.”

Quickly she got her supplies before settling herself behind him all the while Anders laughed softly at her. A kind good natured laugh he’d almost forgotten he could make and she rather enjoy coaxing out.

Merrill was slow in her work and careful, her comb and fingers gentle as they worked the knots out from the day. Anders couldn’t help but sigh contently at the treatment.

“It occurs to me that this is the first time someone has combed and braided my hair for me.” He confessed, when he was a boy it was much too short for his mother to have done as such. If he remembered right.

“That’s so sad..” she replied gently parting the hair as she made her way.

“Is it?” He’d never really thought of it before but...

“If you like I could do it for you once a week.” It was a kind offer, not meant as true temptation but it was one all the same. Merrill was not very good at hiding her intent.

“Merrill...” He signed out. “You are aware I’m nearly done teaching Karel.” It wasn’t a question it was a statement, they both knew she was very aware.

“Oh! Well that’s good.” She avoided his insinuation easily pretending to be focused solely on her task.

“And I heard about your suggestion to use a nearby deep roads for travel.” She tugged a good deal tighter in her work then. “Hey! Not my fault you’re bad at being sneaky.” That only earned him another harsh tug at his hair and silence. “Honestly What were you planning to do after that?” To that merrill finally replied.

“I hadn’t planned that far ahead.” She confessed.

Anders had a dozen different questions or accusations for the elf that continued to fuss with his hair. But one ate him more than any other and had for some time.

“Why do you always do this?” He let out causing her to stop in confusion.

“Braid your hair?” He snorted at that.

“No. Not braid my bloody hair. This! This...” he tried desperately to vocalize what exactly it was. “Helping me, protecting me, acting like I’m something....like I’m something worth saving....when I’m not.”

The tent grew quiet then save for the noise outside. Neither moved or spoke at his words. Even Merrill was at a loss for what he’d confessed to feeling. Of course she’d thought this the case but never that he’d say it. Carefully she set back to her work weaving a simple braid around his temples.

“Because you are.” She said softly and earnestly, only for him to scoff.

“No I’m not, everyone knows it. Even Hawke...” he could still remember that day so clearly the look in her eyes still haunted him.

“Hawke was just hurt,” She corrected him weaving the two braids together at the middle.

“I would have died that day if not for you.” His tone was filled with resentment at that. “I saw it in her eyes if you hadn’t spoken out for me...”

“She would have regretted it.” She tried to ignore what his tone meant, tying off the end of the braid. “Hawke misses you so does Varric and if you would just...”

“Why?”

“What?”

“Why did you speak for me then?” He turned to look at her confused face. “I’ve wondered that for years. We were never close, I undermined you at every turn, we’re the positions reversed I’d have told Hawke to kill you.”

There was no surprise on her face at his words Merrill had always know this to be true. The look of sympathy for him in her eyes though, that had him unable to look at her pacing about the tent to try and focus on anything else.

“I just...it would be better for everyone if..”

“If what? If your perished and Justice walked about in your corpse?” It was the first time she snapped back at him Anders wasn’t sure what surprised him more. Her tone or that she knew what he was thinking.

“Yes it would.”

“Well I disagree.”

“Why?” He growled back not wanting to shout and wake everyone.

After a moment of thought she answered. “I suppose it’s because you’re a lot like the Eluvean.”

“Well that stings.” He laughed bitterly kicking the dirt underfoot. “But accurate, a cursed thing of magic that should be left to rot....” she frowned at him.

“That’s not what I meant.” Merrill replied sternly.

She closed the distance between them quickly. Long delicate fingers hooking under his jaw to force him to look in her eyes as she spoke. For she refused to let him sully her words in self depreciation.

“You are a lovely broken thing Anders, and there’s still good you can do in this world.” Her words were sure and strong, and so very gentle as her thumbs made soothing circles on his cheeks. “I see it, Justice sees it, he’d have never let me help otherwise. It pains me so that you can’t see it.”

He was in awe of her words and sighed in defeat, his own hands covering hers.

“This coming from the elf who saw her own life worth less than a mirror?” He tried to joke.

“Well I suppose we both have trouble seeing our own values.” She replied with a soft laugh, enjoying the feel of his hands.

“Even if I stay Merrill....it wouldn’t be for long. The taint will catch up with me if nothing else....” he couldn’t say if he was trying to scare her off or convince himself to leave but she only smiled.

“Then it’s a good thing you have a blood mage sleeping by your side.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh boy this one was long. Merrill and Anders are a bit complex. I will say the song “How to save life” helped with inspiration. As always help me in choosing my next one, offer a suggestion. Remember it can’t be cannon and I think not involving one of the two characters here.


End file.
